Thursday, January 21, 2016

Things I Mutter As A Mother

I can only imagine the things that would be recorded if my life was a reality show, because I find myself muttering under my breath some horendous, and far from politically correct things! Here's a quick pick me up with no explanations needed! I'm sure plenty of people can relate!

What the fuck are you doing?!

Is that shit?

Where the hell is your father?!

Such an ass!

Get that out of your fucking mouth!

Maybe an early bed time tonight? Fuck, no I don't want to be up at 5am.

Does this lunch beer make me an alcholic?

Please, piss on the floor again!

Stop fucking crying, you are fine!

I'm for sure fucking them up for life!

Oh you shit on the carpet....yay!!!

Do you want to build a snowman?.....fucking Disney movies!

Please don't kill the baby!

Oh when you are a teenager, I will wake you at the piss crack of dawn just because! 

Don't wear a coat, freeze, I don't give a shit. 

Awww it's quite....shit, it's quiet, what are they doing!?

What the fuck did you flush?!

I don't want to sit in the goddamn bathroom every 10 minutes to watch you pee!

Oh you don't want to eat dinner.....starve then!

Of course you spilt your water!

Where the fuck is my birth control!?

Yes, I've said all of these in the last week or two...I was keeping a mental list. No, my children don't ever hear these, if they did, clearly fuck would be their favorite word. But thankfully, they've yet to mutter it!

Look for a new post this weekend!

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  1. I'm pretty sure I've said nearly all of these things and I'm not even home with my kids all day. Glad to know I'm not alone. Lol