Monday, September 26, 2016

Chronicles of a Reluctant Hippie

I've preached and preached and preached about how I'm anti-crunchy, anti-hippie and pro everything that's suppose to be bad for you. I mean did you ever read I'm Not Crunchy....Just Cheap & Lazy and I Hate "All Natural" Parenting.....let me eye roll myself! Now I still stand by what I said before, because I wasn't then who I am now. I wasn't the mom I am now.

But something happened on Saturday, and I'm embarrassed! I hit that pinnacle of crunchy, hippie mom-ness that ushers in SO many different things!

I USED COCONUT OIL ON MY FACE!

If you follow me on Instagram you saw this on my story (and if you don't, get with the program and follow that shit)!!! But for those of you that missed it, I'll explain.

I'm THE hairiest person on the planet! I mean I feel like it was pre-wax days, I'd be some sort of side show freak! I was doing my weekly maintenance on the brows when I got wax in my eyebrow. I panicked! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?! Well I broke out a jar of coconut oil and it took the wax off. But I didn't stop there. I rubbed it all over my damn face. It felt freaking amazing! A few hours later I FaceTimed my mom while I was make-up free, and she said, "Wow you look great!" Guys, it was that freaking coconut oil!

So here I stand. Holding up my hippie flag, and wondering if I get like a hemp necklace as some sort of covert signal to all of the hippie moms of the world that I am on their team now?

This wasn't done overnight though. Reaching this level of hippie-ness has taken some time.

It started with breastfeeding Jayce. And surprisingly it worked, unlike my first attempt with Layne. And here I stand now an "extended breastfeeding" mom! Let me pick my jaw up off the ground now, because I can't believe I just admitted that! He's 16 months now and will wean by the time he goes to college I'm sure!

#BoobMan
Babywearing has been a thing for me for a long time out of necessity, but I became obsessed with it with Jayce. Miraculously he learned to walk though (at 10 months old), despite many people that were worried he'd be delayed because I held my baby too much. eye roll, eye roll, eye roll

Then I started cloth diapering. HOLY SHIT! Literally! But that seems to work for us and saves us money like mad!

Essential oils made their way into our house and got rubbed all over everyone and diffused in everything.

And now here I stand with coconut oil on my face! 

Hippie moms, you fucking rock! I've given you a hard time for a long time....and still sometimes do, but you've got it going on! You are doing what works for you and your family! Bravo to you for going against the grain to do what is best in your eyes!

Maybe I'll make it past the hemp necklace level and onto the dreadlocks level..... Just searching for an all-natural deodorant, a kombucha recipe I can brew at home and how I can fashion my backyard into a free-range chicken coop with goats roaming for milk.

(Please don't take offense to this. I love you all! I'm really making fun of my own hypocritical ass!)

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Friday, September 9, 2016

The Day My Husband Broke My Heart

Being a mom is really hard, add staying home with all the crazies, even harder! But this week I realized that being a dad who works hard, is equally, if not even more difficult.

It was Tuesday morning, he was headed out the door for the second week out of the last three. Typically he leaves before the boys get up, but he had to stop back by the house before leaving. The kids were up when he came inside. He explained how he had to go out of town for work again.

The baby was crying, so daddy picked him up. He laid his head on daddy's shoulder and was gripping onto his shirt.

Another little person was crying and begging him not to leave again.

I hugged and kissed my husband good-bye for the week and said, "I love you. Be safe and we'll see you on Friday!" And then he was gone, but he seemed bothered by something. I assumed it was me.

I texted him a short while later and apologized that I was a little crabby and acting frazzled. He quickly responded assuring me that it was hard for him to leave because of the way the kids were clinging onto him.

My heart broke.

I sit here and whine and complain about running errands, rarely getting a break, kids being off the walls and all of the daily things I have to get done to keep the house up and running. All the while I ignored how he felt. He leaves me here to care for our babies; to make sure the fort is held down while he earns a living that allows us to keep our life running the way it does.

He missed the first day of preschool. He missed swim lessons this week. He missed being on the front line of our first trip to the doctor with a broken bone. He didn't want to, but he had to.

I now understand what that look I saw in his face when he left on Tuesday was. He was father who was sad. It wasn't the look of a man, or my husband, but that of a father who wanted to do nothing more than sit there and hold his babies forever and never leave.

Now the countdown of the week is over and he's back! The saying, "distance makes the heart grow fonder," is true!

When the door opened screeches for daddy rang through our halls. Hugs and kisses were given like mad and demands for Lego building started.

My heart nearly burst! So much love!

I'm sorry for every resenting all the time I spend with our kids. I'm sorry that I get annoyed that you get to leave. I'm blessed. In an ideal situation both parents would be able to make every event, see every milestone, experience every tough parenting moment and give bedtime kisses every night. That isn't our case, but I'm still in love with life and the man I've chose to walk through this journey with.

To all of the moms barely holding life at home together while your spouse is away, you've got this! May the naps be long and your wine glass full!

To all of the hardworking parents who miss more things than they'd like to, it's ok! Don't beat yourself up, make the moments you are there count for all it's worth! They love you regardless!

To my love (if you've read all the way to the end of this), I love you more and more every day! You are the best daddy I could ever wish for our babies to have! Now only if you'd let me have 12 more!!!

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Friday, September 2, 2016

Why We Are "Those" Neighbors

You know how every neighborhood has "those" neighbors. Nobody really says anything about it, well, because then they might know that everyone that surrounds them is constantly judging them. Let me take this moment to raise my hand and admit, we are "those" neighbors. I'm kind of embarrassed by it on one hand, but I'm throwing the middle finger up with the other!

We are terrible groundskeepers.
Some people live in their yard. They slave away mowing, weed eating and using their fancy edger. They get down on their hands and knees to pull weeds and meticulously groom their flower beds. Well, we are not those people.

We mow when it's gotten to the point that the children notice it (usually because it's sprouting seeds), but I like to think of it just being frugal and saving money on grass seed; like organic and shit! (Environmental win over here!) And our favorite weed eater is SUPER fancy, we call it Round-Up. The brown lines around everything clearly are an accent color to the green, right?

Our neighborhood though is the one in which everyone mows between one and six times a week. The family across the street pretty much only takes a quarter inch off each time. I peer through our jungle grass at him and wave, while I'm mentally cursing him out for making our yard look that much longer!

We aren't very neighborly.
Yes we say hello when we see others out and about. And we will help them out if they need something. But I'm not living up to the small town neighborhood dream. We know the first and last name of two of our neighbors (thank goodness one of them have it their front yard, or I'd forget it). I couldn't pick out who lives in the rest of the homes around us if I tried. We've never had a backyard BBQ with anyone. I mean, all of that neighborly stuff you see on TV all of the time, has yet to happen with us.

Our children have no boundaries.
We live in a small town, so our children think that everyone is their friend. But one of our neighbors (who I have never seen outside) is a couple in their mid-90s. We were playing outside one day when our two year old thought he should chase a bird into their yard....and then walk into their front door like he owned the place. He's never met them. I jerked him out before he had a chance to destroy something, shouted "Hello, it's just your neighbor," and quickly left while scolding him about not going into other people's homes.

And our other neighbor, whose house we walk by every day. My son has peed on their sidewalk/yard more times then I would like to admit. It's usually because he won't go before we have to leave for school, and then twenty feet down the sidewalk, it hits him. I won't even begin on the number of times I've had a completely naked child running around outside.

Volume level is constantly on 100.
There is a lot of noise that comes from our house. The kids will scream when we are outside like they are on fire, but it is really because I told them to not play with a steel shovel. And I'm pretty sure our neighbors know our kids' names due to the amount of times I scream them in a 15 minute time frame.

And that nice time of year where you can have your windows open and let the breeze run through the house, yeah, that's a struggle. Everyone  in the neighborhood will know when someone went poop, or who hit who! They also might hear a deranged mother threatening to take away everything that is in the house if the kids don't get it together!

We stretch our property line.
We bought a new camper this summer, a 35 foot 5 inches beauty! Our driveway (that we poured completely new to the street with our own money) is 36 feet. So yes, the tongue of the trailer goes pretty much to the street, but we own that shit, so it's ours to use. We didn't think much of it, no one has said anything, and in a town where they like to send angry letters (*cough* not that I've ever gotten one), we haven't received anything.

Then I was talking to a mom when picking up from school this week. We shared pleasantries about the summer and I mentioned the camper. I was quickly cut-off and asked, "Ohhhhh so you're the house who has the big ass camper that goes past the sidewalk?!" Umm yep, that would be us. I smiled and walked away, clearly we aren't going to be besties.

Our projects always take way too long.
Our deck in the backyard took a year and a half to finish. So until it was done, our backyard resembled a run down lumber yard.

We put siding on our house (isn't home ownership a dream) last spring, it was suppose to take a week, ours took 3. Our contractor had different reasons as to why it took so long, my only real concern is that the workers worked 10-12 hours, never left, but never asked to use the restroom? I'm only going to assume the worse at that point.

Then there was that new driveway I talked about that we got. Well we live on one of the main drags to the schools in town. Our cement got poured from 8-9am on like a Thursday. The cement truck had the entire road blocked during "rush hour commute." Judging by the amount of peel-outs I heard that morning, I doubt anyone was pleased with us.
Because it was totally normal for me to sit in my car and capture them pouring it....I guess!?

I've just realized we aren't meant to have neighbors. We need to be on a secluded compound where our crazies can run wild, but until that day happens, I guess we will just continue to be "those" neighbors.

Are you one of "those" neighbors? Or do you have one of "those" neighbors? Leave me a comment below! I'd love to hear that we aren't the only horrible people out there!

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