Tuesday, February 24, 2015

14 Weeks Left!!! -- 26 Week Pregnancy Update

I must have unknowingly purchased a first class ticket on the Struggle Bus Express! The last 48 hours my mantra has been, "I love my children, I love my children, I love my children....." We are currently going through the Grandma's House Detox program resulting in shitty naps for all and tantrums at all hours......yay! Ok, enough of the pity party.....here's my 26 week update!

Black and white and an honest stay-at-home mom look! Mascara, leggings and a tank......I was kind enough to put a bra on for everyone's safety!
Weight Gain/Loss: Up 13 pounds total, same as last time!
How Far Along: 26 Weeks
Fruit of the Week: Baby is the size of an eggplant and weighing around 2 pounds!
Baby Buys: I personally haven't bought anything for the baby, BUT my mom went a little crazy on my Amazon registry, so I've been getting random items every couple of days. Amazon Prime is a wonderful thing!
Movement: Layne had such sweet little jabs and punches.....Jayce on the other hand is pretty chill unless my bladder is full, then he has to jump on it. And if I'm trying to clean/cook./be productive, he feels the need to ball up by my ribs and make it impossible to breathe! But he definitely movin' and a groovin'!
Dreams: I feel like I've dreamed about every single person I went to high school with at this point, nothing creepy, they were just there. So to everyone that I know reads this, but we don't keep in touch, apparently my subconscious is saying hello!
Position: Who knows! I think he flips in every position throughout the day!
Birth "Plan": Although a VBAC is my ultimate goal, going past my due date (because they won't induce with a VBAC) doesn't sound like much fun, it's making a planned c-section sound appealing!
Cravings: Food! Over the weekend my appetite went from 0 to 100, I think the hubs was annoyed by the constant, "I'm hungry...."
Shit that Sucks: Breathing. He sits so high that bending over puts me completely out of breath, and therefore when I pick toys up with the kids I end up just scooting around the floor on my butt or crawling on my hands and knees. Extremely attractive I'm sure!
Struggles: Shoes. I only wear flip flops, because cold feet are more comfortable than squishing my fat feet into any sort of other shoe. Yesterday's high was close to zero here in the Iowa and I still rocked them. The hubs, pediatrician, nurses, and random people at the various stops in our day informed me of the weather as well, but again, I have no choice.
Successes: All children are currently alive and breathing. Considering the epic tantrums that have been pitched, this is a success!
Mood Swings: My emotions have seemed pretty mellow lately. I'm sure that my other half is happy about that!
Milestones: I got nothing......I think 26 weeks is like that stage where nothing "exciting" is happening.....so we'll say that no news is good news!
Funny: I've come to the conclusion that all men are the same from a very young age on. Yes, my husband has been oogling over my sweater puppets.......but now my little boys (our 1 and 2 year old) are all about them. Let's clarify that for the most part, they were never breastfed, so that's not it. But I'm now constantly pulling little hands out of my bra, telling them they are mine and not to touch. The funniest part is they do it without thinking. While watching Curious George in the morning with both boys on my lap, both of them absentmindedly put a hand on my boob/in my bra. Should be interesting when I attempt to nurse Jayce and my girls are out all the time. I'm sure "mommy's boobies" will be the constant topic of conversation.
Inside the Hormonal Brain: I have extremely high standards for everything in my life and prefer control at all times. Obnoxious? Yes. Annoying? Not to me, but I'm sure to others. Do I care? No. So here I am having all of these extreme worries about when  Jayce is born and the other 3 boys going out to the farm with my mom for 2 weeks while we recover and rest at home. They've done multiple long weekends, and even a week last summer. But 2 WHOLE WEEKS has me a nervous wreck. It was my idea and everything, and I think it will be good for us, but the fact that my mom is so laid back/doesn't do things my way, drives me insane. It also makes for a rough transition home! Agh! I should stop worrying and know that as long as everyone comes home with all of their fingers and toes, everything else will be fine.......

Thank you to everyone who reads my posts and updates! In 2 weeks I have my glucose test! Wish me luck!

Look for some new posts in the coming week! Ideas on how you can be helpful to a mom at the end of her pregnancy and in the first few weeks (a good one to help hint to others!), and all about a "sprinkle" shower!

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

"It's Your Penis"- And Other 2 Year Old Moments

If we are all being honest, 2 year old kiddos are the funniest/orneriest/meanest/sweetest/most honest human beings in the world all at the same time! So in honor of my 2 year old, let's recap approximately the last week......with many pictures that will haunt him for years to come!


1. Riding dump trucks requires being naked and wearing Mr. Potato Head glasses.

This went on for an entire day. Thank goodness no one came to visit us!
*For the record, he owns clothes, we were just doing some "naked potty training."



 2. Hats are always required.

He insists on wearing a hat for 90% of the day, and then will insist that I wear his alternate. Today we wore cowboy hats, yesterday was stocking caps. We can only imagine what tomorrow will hold, possibly buckets....


3. You get away with nothing.

As I walk out of the bathroom, "You poop mommy?".........even if I didn't and was just sitting in there hiding from the chaos, he assumes I was doing #2.


4. Frozen fixes fights.

Separate ends of the couch and Frozen on the TV, because if one more rear naked choke was placed, mom was about to lose her shit.



 5. Anatomy is a struggle.

Found Barbies while cleaning out the closest from when we had some foster girls staying with us. So while playing with them, the following conversation took place.

Barbie pants off
Kayden- "Where's the penis?"
Me- "She's a girl, she has a vagina."

Barbie's shirt pulled up
Kayden- "Where's the baby?"
Me- "She doesn't have a baby in her belly."

Barbie's shirt taken off.
Kayden- (while pointing) "Boobies."
Me- "Yep, those are boobies."


6. Likes to make sure that everyone keeps their parts. 

The hubs strips down to his underwear minutes after getting home from work. The conversation usually goes like this:

Kayden- "It's your penis daddy." (while pointing and trying to see it)
Hubs- "Yep it's still there, don't touch."

Every diaper change he has to be sure that his brothers still have their's too!

7. Learning to dress is hard.

Yep, that's a pajama shirt under his t-shirt. He's pissed he can't get his pants up, but I won't help him because he has no diaper or underwear on. It's a rough life he's living! (another potty training day)


8. Potty training is tricky.

Yes, that is poop on my floor. He didn't quite make it in time. And for the record, I hate potty training. I don't get paid enough for it!



9. Size never matters.

He is very proud of his "new" chair. I cleaned the closet out and got the Bumbo out to put it in the nursery. After getting situated he then tells me, "I hurt mama!" No, he wasn't really hurt, just stuck. No matter the size of something, he always thinks he can fit.


10. Cleanliness is unnecessary. 

For the last week, getting clothes on him is constantly a battle. The only clothes he wants to wear are either Layne's dirty clothes from his hamper or his own dirty clothes. Oh, and he knows if something I put in the dirty hamper is actually clean! He apparently prefers the crusted on boogers and food!


I hope you got a giggle out of my last week or so! Although he's funny and I love him dearly, I'm beyond excited he's visiting Grandma for the weekend!

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

NAME REVEAL!- 24 Week Pregnancy Update

HELLLLOOOOO 24 Weeks! This is the point in pregnancy where I feel like I can breathe finally! Not that anything has been wrong, but up until this point there is always the "what if I go into labor early" paranoia. Now that I know the chance of survival outside the womb is possible, I breathe a sigh of relief! I've switched up some of the "interview" questions, mostly to make them more relevant to the current stage of pregnancy....and also to see if my husband reads the entire post!


All about the animal print!

How Far Along: 24Weeks 1 Day
Weight Gain/Loss: Up 13 pounds....all water weight of course, or at least that's what I tell myself!
Fruit of the Week: Baby is the size of an ear of corn!
Baby Buys: Sooooo there have been several purchases! We bought paint and have begun painting the nursery, but I will do an entire post of that when it's done. Some of our "design" ideas are up in the air still. I've also bought Layne his toddler Tula so that the standard can be for the baby.......and this was SO exciting! I'm officially a WC (wrap conversion) owner! It was a splurge but oh so worth it! I'm in LOVE with it! Now to convince my husband that the baby needs one to match big brother so that when I tandem wear them they can coordinate!

Some serious Tula love here!
Dreams: Part of me is going to miss being pregnant, because the dreams are so interesting! One of the stranger ones tells me I've watched too much of The Blacklist and Scandal. Something about being recruited as a covert agent and I had tasks to complete, but was drugged at the same time. I also mentally brought down a plane, where that came from I have no idea!
Movement: Oh yeah and I can feel them from the outside pretty well now. Kicks are mostly to my vagina/bladder and he enjoys punching my sides/ribs.
Position: As of my doctor's appointment today he is full on breech with his feet down and is facing in. Layne had a big turn at almost 30 weeks to be head down, so I'm not worried.
Birth "Plan": The "plan" is still to attempt a VBAC.....word to the wise, if you've only ever had a c-section and are going to plan on doing a VBAC, DON'T watch videos of a vaginal birth. They scared the shit out of me!
Cravings: Salt, salt, salt, salt, salt, salt (Chinese and wings mostly.....not helping with water retention!) and brownies!
Shit that Sucks: Below the boob sweat. Yeah, it's a real thing and now that my watermelon belly and my National Geographic sweater puppets are best friends and like to be together constantly, there is no preventing it. I constantly find myself tucking shirt under my boobs just to help absorb something!
Struggles: Nipples, seriously! Went to the grocery store this week and just had on a sports bra and thin maternity shirt with no under tank (obviously wasn't thinking!) As I'm walking down the very chilly aisles I notice a lot of strange looks directed at me. Apparently I was trying to direct traffic with my nips, THE ENTIRE TIME! I'm not one to normally be embarrassed, but I blushed at more than one awkward look!
Successes: We've chosen a name! Jayce Thomas Snyder! Please feel free NOT to steal it. And just to clarify, no, he isn't named after Jase from Duck Dynasty. Yes, we had to have a "y" in it, get over it. And finally, no, we don't want your opinion on the name, or a list of people you know named that.
Mood Swings: I feel like a breakdown a day is my new "normal". Crying from Kayden pooping on the floor (we are potty training!), or crying from Layne crying because of his teeth. There's always something!
Milestones: Got my sugary drink today for my next appointment, not a "real" milestone, but that means things are getting closer to the end!
Funny: Layne constantly pulls my shirt up and kisses my tummy and says, "Hi, baby!" He now does this to Jason.....I don't think he finds it as hilarious as I do!
Inside the Hormonal Brain: I don't understand why everyone doesn't feel my urgency to get things done. Mostly the nursery! My husband and our friend sanded the walls (previous owners were idiots and used sand paint EVERYWHERE) and painted the main color on the walls. As I was helping to supervise the work, I kept telling them my plans for the room. And I kept being told, "Oh there's time." In whose world is there time? I have a laundry list of things to do before we become a family of 6, the nursery is the first item of many.......sooooo let's keep things going boys! Less beer breaks and more painting/manual labor!

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Lose the Chocolate and Flowers!

I'm normally not a sappy romantic, but I do like the idea of setting time aside to celebrate love! I know that people, men in particular, struggle to think of something to get their lady for Valentine's Day that isn't chocolate or flowers. Now don't get me wrong, I love both of those things, but there is nothing special or unique about them. Very few men are able to get "creative" and they actually tend to over think the whole thing, if they do decide to do anything at all, so let me help! Hey men (including my husband), listen up!

My LOVEly mug from Target!


1. Time
Cliche I know, but time is a precious thing to women and mother's especially. This can be broken into two different options, alone time and your time.

Telling a woman to just take the day to herself, leaves the question of, "And do what? Walk around Target?" Plan something for her in advance. Possibly a day filled with getting her hair done, a massage, mani/pedis, followed by something where you can meet up with her like dinner or a movie or a play.

The next option is your time. This is one of my personal favorites! My husband works more than most people that I know, so every minute I get alone with him is cherished. So men, give yourself to your woman for a day or weekend. Turn the phone off. Snuggle her. Cook AND clean up a meal for her. And most importantly, tell her over and over how much you care about her. Women are emotional creatures, so actually hearing what you say about how you feel about her, really means a lot!

2. A Card
Simple, right? Get a card, a piece of construction paper or a napkin folded in half and write in it. Crazy, I know! But seeing something handwritten by a man you love pulls some serious strings in a woman's heart! What should you write? Write a memory down of what made you fall in love with her, tell her how beautiful she is (even if she is the size of a whale due to your child she's growing!), or tell her what you are loving about your future together!

3. Curve Talk
This can go for the pregnant mommas out there or the girls who aren't rail thin. Appreciate the body that she lets you have at your beck and call! Talk to the baby inside her swollen belly and just feel him/her kick, after all, nothing is sexier than watching a man love his children! If she isn't pregnant, tell her what curve you love and why. Women have body insecurities, whether they talk about it or not, knowing that the man that says they love them is also attracted to them can do wonders for them!

4. House Chores
For all the stay-at-home moms, having dad pick up a mop and fold a load of laundry is equal to watching a Chippendale performance! So be corny and make a coupon book for her to use. Cooking dinner, mopping, folding laundry, dusting, cleaning toilets, if it's something she always does, give her the option of relinquishing that responsibility for the day/week!

5. Foot/Body Rub Down
The key to this, is without her asking for it! Between a woman working, raising a family and keeping a house together, muscles get sore! Tell her you appreciate her and want to give her a foot massage or back rub, but don't do one of those half-assed, "I'll lay next to you and use one hand," techniques. Google how to give a REAL massage and do that for AT LEAST 30-40 minutes! But this is key, DON'T ask for  a return favor, that's not how this works!

Now let's calculate the price on this..........ummm CHEAP! So the excuse of, "Money is really tight, I couldn't do much," is LAME! Man up men of the world! Pamper your ladies! Shoot, do all 5 things and I'm sure you will be rewarded in more ways than one!

Thursday, February 5, 2015

I Just Peed A Little

It's true, pregnancy (especially this second one) causes phrases I never thought I would say to slip out of my mouth and has resulted in me to do things that in hindsight were bad decisions.

Sneeze. "I just peed a little."
Sneeze. "Shit, again."
Sneeze. Sneeze. Sneeze. "Fuck this, I got to go change." .....read on for further explanation

Here are a few things that one might want to reconsider doing if pregnant or if you know someone, keep them far away from these terrible things!

1. Pinterest-ing 
As much as I LOVE Pinterest, it is a very poor decision to even browse just a little on this clever site! My nesting brain wants to pin everything in sight which may include a full basement remodel, closet remodel, new bins with labels for EVERYTHING and finally a nursery with every cool little thing I found in it that my husband thinks is absurd!

2. Amazon Shopping
I'm a very proud Amazon Prime member and living in the Midwest, if I can't order it on Amazon Prime, I don't need it that bad, especially when it's cold out. Did you know Amazon does baby registries? Oh yeah, they have EVERY little baby item imaginable on there and ironically it is all Prime. Free shipping means that it's practically free, right?

3. Etsy Browsing 
Handmade, small businesses, online and ships to my door....ALL things I love and support! And damn those crafty people with great photography skills! Why yes I do need the crocheted outfit for newborn pictures, and the set of big brother t-shirts, ooooh and the bag to match, oh and the wall decals with the matching mobile.... See the problem with going here? If you have money to burn, then have at it! I'm just a terrible window shopper!

4. Sick Baby Snuggling
Your gut says to snuggle and kiss away, the reality is, sick babies/toddlers/kids are just disease spreading cesspools. I've learned this yet again this week, and the third time this pregnancy. Being pregnant over the winter is for the birds! With Layne being the last one to get the runny nose and cough, I've come down with it as well! Now I can justify snuggling them since I'm sick also. but I should have kept my distance earlier!

Sick kiddos watching Frozen and insisting on snuggling baby brother!

5. Toddler Bed-Making
Our 2 year old has a set of bunk beds in his room and insists on sleeping on the top bunk. Well I'm one of those people that has to wash sheets every week to every other week otherwise I get grossed out (remember I do live in a house of all males!) A pregnant woman isn't meant to scale the side of a bunk bed and make the top bunk. Not only does it put me out of breath, the creaking noise of the bed is a bit unsettling!

While the sheets washed during nap, he chose the bean bag over the bottom bunk. He isn't stubborn or anything!


6. Hungry Grocery Shopping
It's never a good idea to go grocery shopping when you are hungry, pregnant or not, but it's a REALLY bad idea to go when you are growing another human inside you! My grocery bill is at least $20 more and it looks like I had a small child throwing random items into the cart, even if I'm by myself. The other day I came home with cinnamon rolls, rice, garlic bread, Golden Grahams and chocolate syrup.....none of which were on my list that I pride myself on sticking to! Some of the things I don't even remember ever putting in the cart! I've never taken Ambien, but I feel like it was an Ambien experience from what I've heard of them!

7. I Can Hold It
I still try to tell myself this when we are out and about. I can wait to pee till the next stop, it isn't that bad. But then I forget what happens if I cough, sneeze, move the wrong way, bend over, or the sweet baby boy decides to get a big bounce off my bladder, I end up needing to either invest in Depends or carry multiple pairs of underwear with me! Please people, treat pregnant women like 2 year olds, "Should you just try to go?" Chances are, they need to go!

8. Hashtag Searching
I'm not a HUGE hashtagger (what was previously known as the pound sign or number symbol) but I will occasionally use them! I probably hashtagged this blog post! But when I put up my weekly Bumpdates and I just happen to click on the hashtag for #23weekspregnant and I see this chick that is standing on her head doing #prenatalyoga with #fitpregnancy.....I want to be over here all #icecreambaby #prenatalScandalwatching,.....just saying. Not that I hate the super fit moms that will walk out of the hospital in their pre-pregnancy booty shorts, I'm just a bit jealous and compare myself to them constantly, okay there, I said it!

Have anything else that one should reconsider doing while expecting? Please feel free to share!

AND our raffle winner from last week is Beck Bierbrodt!