Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thankful For The Underappreciated Things In Life

Well Happy Thanksgiving! Now I'm thankful for my friends, family and health, like everyone else! I don't know what I would do without them. But I'm also thankful for a lot of things in our life that some people probably don't think of being thankful for or even mentioning.

I'm thankful that my dad refrained from killing my (now) husband 7 1/2 years ago. I mean I would kill my daughter (if I ever have one) and her boyfriend if she moved out the day after high school graduation and in with her guy while I was at work without telling me. But my dad didn't, and because of that I have a husband and father of my children that I wouldn't trade for the world. So thanks dad!

I'm thankful for small towns. Only in a small town would it be perfectly acceptable for a pregnant (but still just looks like a beer gut) woman to go to the gas station in her slippers on Thanksgiving morning (at 6am) to get the ads and donuts without any judgement from the cashiers! Thanks Underwood!

I'm thankful for my stretch marks. I know I talk about them a lot, and I really am not a fan of them on most occasions. But I'm thankful for them, because there was a point that I never thought I would get to feel a baby grow in my stomach and cause those. Who knew we would become so good at making them! Practice makes perfect! So thank you Freddy Krueger tummy!

I'm thankful for Dayton's Austism. Weird, right? Well lately I've had all of these different pages on Facebook show up that are for kids with cancer. Some are doing well, and unfortunately some aren't. It breaks my heart to see these and can't imagine the strain it puts on these families. Yeah, Dayton doesn't talk, has a shit ton of sensory issues and is self-abusive, but he isn't stuck in a hospital or has an unknown future of treatments ahead of him. So thank you Autism!

I'm thankful that I took a leap and started this blog and that I have real life people that read it! It has been the best therapy anyone could every ask for and I love it! I've realized that sometimes in life you can't have a 5 or 10 year plan, because things can change in a blink of an eye. So for now; I work for my kids (let's be real, they're in charge most the time), I love my family and I write!

If you took the 3 minutes it takes to read this post, please like it and share it with a comment of something you are thankful for that people might not consider on a day like today! I can't wait to see what you guys post!

Teaching Kayden how wonderful the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade is! He loved it!



Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Figured Out How Babies Are Made! --12 Week Update!

Soooooo WE ARE PREGNANT! It's been so hard to keep our good news quiet! But after our 12 week appointment today, we decided to shout it from the rooftops! Our official due date is June 2, 2015!



Here is how it has been going thus far. No, no, no, I'm not going to tell you HOW it happened, I'm sure you all saw the sex ed video in 8th grade! But because I am/was crazy about tracking everything, I found out I was pregnant at 3 weeks 6 days and confirmed it at the doctor. Then my "miscarry paranoia" kicked in and I ended up going to the doctor EVERY FREAKING WEEK for some reason or another until 9 weeks. After the third time of hearing the baby's heartbeat, I got a sense of relief and held off showing up at my doctor's office until today.

We told some friends and family over the past couple weeks, because anyone who knows me knows non-pregnant me would never turn down a glass of wine! Here are some of my favorite responses!

"You realize this makes 4, right?" - No, no I didn't. I missed that part of counting in kindergarten.
"Dude, pull out!" - No comment.
"Well for as much use as your pantry gets, I'm not surprised!" - It really doesn't get used THAT much!
"All your children must sleep through the night." -Yep!
"Are you done after this?" - Maybe, maybe not! Who knows!
"Congratulations!"- This one is my favorite!

Now I'm going to attempt to do a monthly update! I got the questionnaire off of babycenter.com, so no, I did not make up the questions.  So here goes my first one!



How far along? 12 weeks, 1 day!
Total weight gain/loss: up about 2 pounds
Maternity clothes? Oh yeah! Pants are a necessity, and shirts are because my regular shirts make me look like I shopped in the little kids department!
Stretch marks? Nothing new, and the ones I had from Layne have "stretched" back out so I can't seem them! Winning!
Sleep: Great! .......except my 3am need to pee

Best moment this week: Seeing the little squirmy on the ultrasound
Have you told family and friends: Yep! Announced today!
Movement: I swear I felt something, put everyone (including the doctor) says it's too early.
Food cravings: Chinese, ice cream and Panera
Anything making you queasy or sick: Vegetables
Have you started to show yet: Belly is popping out a bit more each day!
Leakage: hahahaha NO
Gender prediction: Gut feeling says girl, but it might just be wishful thinking!
Labor Signs: No no no! 
Belly Button in or out? In.
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Moody as hell!
Weekly Wisdom: Perk of having a "pre-stretched" stomach from Layne, I don't think I will be in the "Is she pregnant or just fat?" stage as long as before!
Milestones: Announced to the world out pregnancy!




Monday, November 17, 2014

Wish Destroyer

I did! I caved and now do things I never thought I would do as a stay-at-home mom. Prior to actually being a home with the kids, I had all this wild ideas of how it would be. How I would! Well that's all out the window now. I had this realization today......as my kids were locked in their bedroom.....I'll explain, I'll explain!

Laundry will always be done, and won't pile up!
I'm literally laughing out loud right now. I spent the entire day today trying to fold 3 loads of laundry that piled up over the weekend. 3 LOADS! Actually folding laundry requires not having "helpers", which doesn't ever exist unless they are sleeping. But let's be honest, when they sleep, I want to do NOTHING but relax! Our washer and dryer are in our bedroom, so you can imagine my dear husband's annoyance when he trips over a pile a laundry in the early hours, and I have to pretend I'm still sleeping and not laughing.

Dinner will be home cooked every night.
Nope, doesn't happen! Yes, I cook dinner nearly every night, but I give myself a night off once MAYBE twice a week, and we get a pizza or have the only restaurant that will deliver to us bring up some fried up deliciousness. Let me be clear though, home cooked sometimes means grilled cheese or cereal. I'm putting it together AT HOME, so it totally counts!

I'll work out before the kids get up.
This has yet to happen in the nearly 5 months I've been home. Not because I don't have an amazing treadmill in the basement that my friend has used more than me, but because I don't want to. Sleep is much more important to me, because my kids drain me. And yeah, yeah, yeah, "exercise gives you energy,".......shut up. No one wants to hear that. I love my sleep, end of story.

The kids and I will get dressed and ready every day.
Why? What's the point? If I get them out of their pajamas, it just means I have more laundry. I mean we get "ready" when we go somewhere, but besides that, we just try to make sure we look presentable by the time boss man gets home from work.

I will spend all my time with my children. 
No, because this mom still needs her sanity. This is where the kids being in their bedrooms come into play. To preface this, my kids' rooms are COMPLETELY childproof, so I have no fear of anything happening to them. Layne and Kayden hang out in Kayden's room from time to time during the day and play. They might be in there while I try to tackle laundry in the next room, make a phone call with no screaming in the background or lay outside of their door for a quick 10 minute snooze. I check on them frequently, and listen for screams, but sometimes the presence of just a door between us is all I need to refuel myself to make it through the day.

House will be spotless.
If you've read any part of my blog before, you will know this is far from true. I rationalize it in my head by telling myself that we are here all the time so it is nearly impossible for it to stay clean. It is the same reason we always seem to be out of groceries. Our house isn't dirty, just lived in.

To anyone that has stayed home before or is thinking about it, what are your wishes? I mean, it probably will never happen, but like my dad always said, "It's nice to dream!"

***Heads up, there is a chance I will be taking a hiatus from social media for awhile, so if you are interested in still reading my blog, please subscribe! It will help to make sure that you never miss a post***

Layne learning too quickly how to climb baby gates!

Friday, November 14, 2014

Teachers Are The Worst Parents EVER

Now before all of my teacher friends come light my house on fire for saying they are bad parents, let me tell you that I say this from an honest part in my heart. My dear teacher friends, you know this is true, stop lying to yourself.

Do you love, feed, clothe, and keep your child safe? Yes. Do you take them places to engage their minds, and give them life experiences? I'm sure you do. But you also will (at some point) hate every teacher that your child has. I don't care if it is pre-school or your child's infant room teacher.

You may be thinking, "No, I love everyone that is with my child. If I didn't, I wouldn't stay." Easier said than done. When you are locked into a district, switching teachers doesn't happen unless some act of God occurs.

I'll tell you why you hate them too. Because they aren't doing it the way that you would. The teacher you have entrusted your child to learn from is not you, and aren't teaching your children "your way". And no matter who you are, that doesn't sit easy with you. You don't know what is going on all day long, what standards/milestones/IEP goals they are working on at each second of the day.

I speak completely from first hand experience. I'm sure Dayton's teacher from last year is reading this right now and nodding her head the whole time. I will admit, I'm a terror of a parent for a teacher to deal with. I will e-mail, and call, and complain and tell you exactly what you are doing wrong and why it is wrong. And I don't care how that makes you (the teacher) feel. I'm the expert on my child, not you. And I hated parents like me when I had to deal with them, but now, I totally get it.

Education is a double-edged sword when it comes to raising children. On one side I know how to help my child develop into a functioning young member of society. But on the other side, I know too much (and let's be honest, usually more) than the teacher I am enlisting to care for my child. I think this is intensified when you have a child with special needs. I have done SO much research, know IEPs inside and out, therapy goals, etc.............please teacher, don't act like you know more about my child and how to help them than I do.

Now that I stay at home with the kiddos and don't have students of my own, everyone also thinks that I have this burning desire to be all "educational" with my own children at home. Because obviously teachers want to constantly teach, right?! Bitch please! I'm happy that Kayden can say "1, 2, 3" and I'm pretty sure he only knows that because I don't count to 10 for him to go to time-out. We are lucky to get one art project done every couple weeks. I mean we read, and sing songs, but it is usually something we have read/sang so many times I don't even have to pay attention while doing so, and can cook dinner at the same time.

So to all the wonderful teachers out there, rest assured that you are/will be terrible parents, and that's okay! It is all out of place of deep caring for your kids and lack of patience for adults!

Kayden's "art project" from today. Thank you $1 aisle at Target!

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Gift Giving......I'm An Adult, And So Are You

Tis' the season for the crazy lines at Target, weird store hours and the headache that goes along with Christmas shopping. And I hate it. I really do.

Now let me clarify. I love Christmas! I love getting together with family, playing games, putting up decorations, watching corny Christmas movies and most of all, CHRISTMAS MUSIC! Notice I didn't mention anything about gifts. It is the gift portion of Christmas that makes me want to lose my marbles!

I recently talked to a friend that has over 20 people to buy gifts for. WHY!? She doesn't have 20 children. But like me she married into a family that LOVES Christmas and gift giving, but her approach to it is much different than mine. She actually buys all of these grown ass adults gifts. Fuck that.

It started for us when we were getting married. We told family not to buy us gifts. because we were saving money for the wedding and didn't want to spend anything we didn't have to. Then when we were remodeling our kitchen, again, no gifts. Finally. this last year, we told family they could get the kids presents but please don't buy us anything, because we weren't going to be giving gifts.

I'm pretty sure I've broken my father-in-law's Christmas joy with all of this, but I think it is absurd. As an adult, if we want something, we go and get it. We don't make Christmas lists. Half the time, whatever gift we receive we say thank you and if it doesn't get returned, it goes to the re-gift closet. Especially now that we are a one income household, we don't have all this extra money laying around to spend.

Giving gifts is just as difficult for me. Not because I don't like giving gifts, but I thoroughly dislike shopping for gifts. My parents are average age 60. They don't need anything. They have everything, if not too much. (I swear all old people are hoarders) Everyone else in my family, including in-laws, don't actually need anything, and I don't want to spend money just to say I got them something. If I give a gift, I want it to be something someone actually needs.

Just think about what the season is about. I'm not a deeply religious person, so I won't get into that. But the overall theme is family. Being with family and doing things with family. It's not about buying your extended family member a stupid ass t-shirt that costs $25 that they said they really liked, but you've never seen them wear.  It's probably in their re-gift closet.

Scrooge is not my middle name (I'm sure that's what you are thinking). We do buy our kids gifts, but we don't go crazy. We spend about $100 on each kid, which I think is plenty, if not too much. Our kids will give gifts to their grandparents, siblings and parents (I do enjoy the occasional self-bought present) but they will be homemade or reasonably priced. My kids will learn that Christmas time is about being with the people that matter most to us, and the gifts they give and receive are just extra perks, but not a requirement.

So, during this holiday season just consider forgoing the gift giving. Maybe spend the money you would normally do to adopt a family and buy gifts for them, donate to a charity, go on a mini vacation altogether, or prepare a nice meal and spend time playing games and actually having meaningful conversations that don't consist of, "Hey what did you get!?"


Monday, November 3, 2014

When Family Crosses the Line

Now it takes a lot for me to say that someone has crossed "the line," considering not much bothers me. But I've recently realized (like within the last 10 minutes) there are a couple times when my family has crossed the line.

Bathing
Yes, bathing. While attempting to FaceTime my mother this afternoon she answers it and says, "Well I'm in the tub, I'll call you back." WHY DID YOU ANSWER THEN!?!? No one wants to see you in the tub, especially your daughter and grandchildren. So I hung up. Then just to see if she would do it again, I call back. Sure enough, she answered. So I took that moment to take a screenshot in order to capture this moment where she had a lapse in good judgement.

She was a bit embarrassed for how her hair looked, so I did some rough photo edits.
Holidays
I know holidays are rough for a lot of families, our's included. And as of last year, I've started hosting them, because I dread dragging my kids to other people's houses. Everyone always brings food, which is awesome, it takes a lot of stress off of me, but I am a grown woman. With all the good intentions I know, but I do not need to have plates, napkins, cups, table cloths and silverware brought as well. I'm not 8 years old and playing house, I do have things. I do plan ahead for guests..........so stop. Bring your delicious mashed potatoes and yourself, that is all that is needed.

My Waistline
It is mine after all, and I don't need your commentary. "Oh, you got some baby weight left." OR "Remember when you were super skinny in college."--- Like it was 25 years ago, of course I remember it! Keep your mouth closed and when I ask for another dinner roll at Thanksgiving....look away.

My Kids' Milestones
If I hear, "Well so-and-so's kid is doing XYZ, why isn't your little darling doing that?" Because they aren't, okay!? It seriously burns me when my kids get compared to others like walking/talking/learning the ABCs/potty training are part of some sort of race that if my child isn't the first to finish line something is wrong. So again, my dear dear family, just tell me how cute and adorable my kids are, that is all.

Finances
None of your business, cut and dry. We aren't living in the homeless shelter and my van hasn't been repossessed, so we must be doing okay. No need for you to ask how much our house payment, car payment, and any other payment is, and I won't ask you. After all, if you ask about it, shouldn't I be able to also?

Sex Life
Yes, I have sex. Yes, I have no qualms  talking about it. But yes, it is awkward when the people who created me start discussing my sex life. It's just awkward. I don't ask how I came to be, because I don't need that mental image. Please don't ask me how you got a grandchildren or if Jason "got lucky" when the kids were away.

I really do love all of my family, and I know they mean no harm when they pry into subject areas that they shouldn't or do things (like bathing while FaceTiming). I rationalize all of their shortcomings by telling myself that since I'm pretty much the baby of all my families (for the most part), everyone who I'm related to is pretty damn old. Old people say and do pretty obnoxious and inappropriate things. Don't worry dear family, I'll find you a good home!



Saturday, November 1, 2014

Dinner......It's What's For Dinner

Feeding children is on the list of things I love right up there with cleaning toilets. It's necessary but equally annoying and always messy!

When Dayton came to us at 3 1/2 years old, he literally only ate chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. No fruits. No vegetables. Well this mama isn't a short order cook, nor do I have any desire to be one. After speaking with our wonderful pediatrician I adopted the, "This is what we are having or you are going to be hungry," style of parenting and haven't looked back.

Today for example, Dayton only wanted the charms out of his Lucky Charms. Refused his milk. Refused his banana. Ehhhh that's ok, milk is expensive, so if I can save it for the next meal, heck why not!

Lunch was left over chili. He hates chili. But everyone else was having it, so he was going to have it to. He picked out the crackers that weren't completely covered in chili and ate those, but that was all. Also, he wouldn't drink his water. Man, a rough day for him!

Needless to say, he was happy that snack was a granola bar and water. Both were gone in 2 seconds flat. But dinner was chicken pot pie, mashed potatoes and a clementine. He sucked every last drop of juice from the clementine and drank his water, but that was all. Some days it sucks to suck, but I don't care if his tummy is growling when he goes to bed. He was offered meals, he just didn't "like" what it was. Not sure why he didn't like it considering it never went near his mouth.

If I was a betting person, I would say that tomorrow morning I could serve him almost anything and he will gobble it down.

Unless a child has an actual eating disorder, they aren't going to starve themselves. They WILL eventually eat what you are offering. I was told many times, as long as he gets one good meal every 3 days or so, he'll be fine. When it comes to power of wills, I will always win. Call it the competitive side of me.

So moms out there, stop catering to your children. The world isn't going to cater to them, so don't give them that false hope. I refuse to be the mom at the big family dinner with the kid that says, "I don't eat this," to my family that has worked for hours to prepare a meal. You will eat or you will sit there with your mouth shut and be hungry. You will not get a different meal. I will not stop and get you something else. And when we get home, you will go to bed with your stomach growling.

And I've heard so many times, "If I don't make them something else, they will be hungry." Good. Let them be hungry. Let them know that you aren't their servant and I'm sure they will find something on their plate they will eat.

Now do the kids ALWAYS eat what we eat. No, let's be real. When Jason and I are eating steaks that are too "fancy" (aka expensive) for them to waste, they get PB&Js, but except for those rare occasions, they get what we are having.

To all the mom's that are currently short order cooks, throw your Waffle House uniform away, and toughen up your babies! They can eat that meals they "want" when they are old enough to buy the groceries, cook it and clean it up, until then, you are the head chef and they will eat what's served!