Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Where's My Time Card?!?!

Hello, it's me again, the use to be consistent blogger turned once a month poster! Life has been hectic, everyone is well, but I feel like I'm running on "E" 99% of the time. This stay-at-home gig is no joke!

I was thinking the other day about how many "work" hours I put in. Let's do some math. I work 7 days a week, with my average hours being 7am till 7pm with children, plus an extra hour in the evening of cleaning up/doing things I couldn't do with them awake. Kayden has stopped taking naps (please, everyone, cry with me!), so there goes my 2 hour break in the afternoon. That all adds up to 91 hours in a week. Oh, let's also not forget Jayce doesn't sleep through the night yet, so I'm up 2-3 times at night.... add an hour and a half per day to my total. It comes to 101.5 hours a week. That's saying my kids follow a 7am to 7pm schedule which lately has been more of a 6am to 8pm.....

Wow, I hadn't actually done the math till right now! 406 hours per month, 4,872 per year.....  Someone that works a paying job 40 hours a week only works 2,080 hours a year.... I know that being a mom, whether working in the home or at a "real" job, is a 24/7 type of thing. I now understand why my ass doesn't get rolling in the morning without a cup of coffee, or why sometimes I need a lunch time beer, if you have/had 3 boys 3 and under, you get me!

With all these hours I put in, my house should be spotless, meals always homemade and children clean at all times. Well......none of that shit happens! Yes I clean, yes I cook, and yes I bathe my children......but it's never all done with 100% effectiveness!

In a single day I cook/heat up 3 meals and 2 snacks per child. Dress each child. Wash, dry and put away 1-2 loads of laundry. Unload  and load the dishwasher. Wipe the table down 1-3 times. Change 15-20 diapers. Pickup all toys twice a day (with assistance from my not very helpful children). Then if I throw in the variables of drop/off pickup from school, grocery shopping, scrubbing bathrooms, sweeping/mopping floors, doctor appointments, kids get sick, washing beds, and trying to go do fun things like the zoo......my daily look of yoga pants, t-shirt, ponytail and no makeup makes sense then!

To all single moms or military wives that have to run the house solo for long periods of time, my hat goes off to you! Jason has been working out of town 4-5 days a week for the last month, which feels like an eternity! The round the clock gig has be in tears some days, I don't know how people do it for months/years!

Some days I just wish I had a time card and I could "clock" out at 8 or 9 at night, but I can't. I was up till 11pm the other night doing laundry so Kayden would have clean underwear and Jason could pack his bag with clean clothes to go out of town for work, only for the baby to wake up just before 1am to eat.

This all sounds like I'm bitching.....ok.....I am. I think that moms are completely underappreciated for all of the hard work that we do! We get Mother's Day (woot woot, 1 day!)........ where's the weekly parade of flowers for us or the hazard pay or handwritten thank yous for wiping ass?!?!

So while I sit here and soak in the 25 minutes of quiet that I'm getting while drinking a lukewarm beverage, I'll accept my job for what it is, a lot of fucking work!

Just because he's so stinkin' cute!

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Yeah, I'm Late....Eff off!

I was born and raised in the world of, 15 minutes early was on time and on time was late! Nowadays.....on time is on time and 5 minutes late is still on time! I never understood parents being late until #3 and #4 came around. We were always on time with just 2 kids, but adding more into the equation, just increases the difficulty of the logistics! Here are some of the reasons why I'm late, sorry I'm not sorry.

Clothing
Have you ever tried dressing 4 children, making sure they have clean diapers/underwear, and finding matching shoes? It's a pain in the ass, especially because Kayden and Layne have opinions on what they want to wear. I'm sure Layne rotates through the same 5 superhero/Mickey Mouse shirts, because a complete melt down occurs if he doesn't get to wear one, and it isn't a battle worth having! Add to the fact they are OBSESSED with doing their hair...... Have boys they said. It'll be easier they said. They don't care what they wear or how their hair looks they said..... LIARS!
Mickey Mouse is Layne's undershirt.....because heaven forbid we go without!
Shit
I mean this in the most literal sense of the word. We have to leave for pre-school no later than 8am on Tuesdays and Thursdays, it never fails that Kayden has to poop at 7:59am....and we're late! Or everyone but the baby is loaded, and I go to put him in his carseat and he's had a blowout. I wish I could say this has only happened once......and yes, I took a picture to show Kayden's teacher I wasn't making it up!


The List
There is a certain list of items that we can't leave the house with. Waters for everyone, snacks, extra clothes, jackets, cell phone, phone charger, diapers, wipes and pacifiers....it takes me about 5 trips in and out of the house getting everything, because I keep forgetting something!

Carseats
I hate them. Straps get twisted, kids grow which require adjustments, accidents happen in them.....they just frustrate me. Add to the fact that no one willingly gets in and straps themselves in, loading the crew up never goes as planned!

Jayce
Yes, he gets an entire category! He HATES riding in the car, like screams the entire time! I've found the only time we get a quiet ride is if I feed him in the car and immediately put him into his carseat. No, I can't feed him in the house and then go to the car, trust me....I've tried! So I need everyone loaded and in the car about 15 minutes before we leave, just so I can feed him. Remember the poop situation from above.....yeah, still late!
At least he's cute!

To mothers of 1 or 2 that are still late to things. It's ok! I was a bit crazy/OCD with just 2 and refused to be "those" parents that are always late. Now, I don't give a shit. If we're late, we're  late. So don't stress! Helpful hint! I like to think that if I add "ish" to a time, it buys me an extra 15 minutes or so!

And to those of you that are expecting a family to arrive to something on time. Tell them the time is 30 minutes earlier then it actually is, because hopefully they will show up before it's over!