Friday, January 8, 2016

Jealous Mommy

I know, in this world of everything being so politically correct, I should say that I love everyone and everything. No negative feeling should be felt, because blah blah blah.........

Well, I'm a jealous mommy, like seriously. I'm completely content (most of the time) with my current situation, so to say. I've got the 4 boys that all somehow terrorize me at one point in the day, the loving husband who works all the fucking time, and my squad of friends and family. *side note: I have no clue what a "squad" really is, I'm assuming it means group, but in an attempt to sound cool, I'm using it here. If I'm using it wrong, I don't give a shit, oh well!*

No makeup, wet hair, nearly naked children and of course, Hulk hands!

Anyways, I realized today as I was chasing our 2 and 3 year old down the long fucking hall at the mall because they REFUSED  to stay in the play area, I'm jealous of whole load of moms.

The moms that can sit nicely and drink their coffee and engage in adult conversations while their children play nicely with each other. Instead Kayden tried riding the little girl like she was a horse, then later took his shirt off like he was trying to be Channing Tatum......all while Layne ran away.

There are those moms that have lost all of their baby weight PLUS more and attribute it to breastfeeding. Nursing makes me feel like I just got done running a marathon, soooo those extra calories I burn by being a milk machine, definetly turn into calories I eat.

Perfect hair moms are the bee's knees! I currently am rocking 2-3 inches of outgrowth and it appears that "glitter" is sprouting from my part......oh wait, it's just gray! I totally girl crush on those moms who have this hair that is perfectly curled/styled, appears to never move out of place and falls perfectly into place at all times.

I'm jealous of moms of only one kid too. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my herd for the world, but I've never had just one kid..... EVER. Today as I was chasing the boys down that long ass hallway, a mom (with only one child) said, "Isn't having a toddler hard work!?"  Mentally I flipped her off and mumbled, "Bitch please, try two!" But seriously......

Really fit moms are my idols. Like if I just follow you on Instagram and see you working out with your baby, can that just rub off on me? I don't think I have the time, patience or discipline to do any of it, but surely something can transfer off to me.......or so I like to believe.

I could probably go on and on with more, but I feel guilty even admitting to these! I guess it's okay to be jealous though, I'm not "mommy shaming" any off them, I'm just envious. It's like I want to have it all, but that's just not the case! So instead I'll just sit here listening to my children not take a nap, eat my dark chocolate and browse Pinterest for ideas of things I'll never really do or make!

*Be on the lookout for my post about the Boudior Photoshoot I did recently! Best confidence boost ever!*

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