Tuesday, April 28, 2015

When Raising Boys, Just Accept It

I always get the comments of, "Oh man, this one is boy number four, you are going to have your hands full!" Right, because three boys isn't crazy?

In the recent weeks I've come to the realization that I need to just accept a few things in order to make my life easier and stress levels dramatically lower!


We might need some more swings!


There is no fashion sense. 
Whether they wear clothes or not, it doesn't matter to any of my boys. They want long socks with shorts, sandals, a winter cap and cut-off shirt, it doesn't matter to them! What I want doesn't matter. Occasionally I like my children not to look homeless, but what do I know! Fine, wear what you want!

Yeah....That's a pull-up on his head....

I will own nothing nice....EVER!
I have dings from about 4 feet down in every wall the kids have access to. Kayden has ripped family pictures off the wall multiple times, putting a hole in the drywall this last time. Jason's recliner that he got for his birthday in December is about on its last leg. They pull trim off the walls. Rip the lining of their bedroom blinds (for no apparent reason). Scratch my hardwood floors, but yet I haven't kicked them out yet. If these hooligans weren't my "babies," they would have been evicted months ago! Instead, I must breathe and think that one day, they will move out. And when I'm old and they have nice things, I will break their things and blame it on my age.


Kayden's blinds on the left, Layne's on right...... 

Potty training a boy doesn't work with my schedule. 
I'll admit it, every time someone talks about their kids being potty trained and they are the same age or younger than Kayden, a wave of jealousy runs through me. I know, he's four months away from being 3, and it's "normal" for him to not be trained already. But with all the effort I've been putting towards it, he should be shitting in the potty on a regular basis. It turns out though, he doesn't give a fuck. Yeah I said it. He would rather play monster trucks, run around outside, organize his tractors or watch the squirrels out the window. Peeing or pooping in the toilet isn't on his list of priorities, so I guess it isn't on mine either. I have to breathe and think that he will be potty trained by high school graduation, so this won't last forever...at least I hope not!


"Peeing like daddy" has turned into sitting on the bowl....awesome!

Brotherly love is a blessing and a curse. 
The boys LOVE each other so much and I am so grateful for that! Well most of the time. Time-outs serve no purpose at this point. If one gets sent to time out, everyone wants to be there, then it's like "Oh hey bro! I'm just hanging out here, what's up with you?" NOT THE POINT BOYS! It isn't social hour!


One is guilty of eating rocks/dirt, one for throwing rocks and the third just wanted to hang out, any guesses?

Clean isn't in their vocabulary. 
I believe in the saying, "Dirt don't hurt." I let the kids get messy and dirty...on bath days. But I guess daily baths are turning into our new normal, and I can handle that. But why must they insist on the INSIDE of the house being dirty too? Daily mopping is not going to happen. If food drops on the floor, I hear, "It's ok, mommy will clean the floor." Ummmm excuse me? Yes I will clean the floor, because I don't trust a 2 year old with a mop, but that doesn't mean throwing things on the floor is just okay. I know that I should give them the job of sweeping or something, but that seems like a logistical nightmare and it's just quicker for me to do it. So I will just sit here and weep into my mop water. I'm looking forward to the day when I can give them real chores!


Why yes, please dump sand on yourself!

I love them and I'm sure that when the baby gets here, they will welcome him with open arms (and fists, and blankets over the head, and dump trucks to the facel......) And now that I've written this all down, I won't stress these things anymore, well that's my goal at least!

Occasionally they do things together nicely!

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Nursery Sneak Peek!- 34 Week Pregnancy Update

Holy moly! 34 weeks!!!! 5 weeks from TODAY Jayce will be born.....that is unless he decides to arrive earlier (which I would be ok with!)

I thought he dropped....and then I just realized he is huge and taking up all available space!

Weight Gain/Loss: 32 pounds.....ugh! I 
How Far Along: 34 Weeks
Fruit of the Week: Baby is the size of a head of a pineapple! He's sorta of pokey like one too!
Baby Buys: Too much! That's probably not the answer my husband would like to hear! I just got everything for my hospital bag, some wall decor for the nursery, newborn diapers, a kangaroo top for skin to skin time ($4.50 at a consignment shop, retails for $60, I was SO excited!) and.......... A NEW TULA!!!!!!!!! To be fair, I sold one in order to jusify buying this one! It's a ring sling and feels like love! For anyone that hasn't worn a baby before, newborns love it and a sling is quicker than a Moby wrap!

Pure love! (The picture on the right is just a stock photo from the Tula site!)

Movement: It feels like my ribs/lungs are a wall he is pushing on while he sees how far he can bury himself down below!
Dreams: Still not sleeping in long enough spurts to dream....or remember them!
Position: Still head down and on my right side only....which is completely annoying. My ribs and hip are in constant pain.
Cravings: Food, food and more food.....but all in small portions! I can't take big breaths or big bites, there just isn't any room, so I feel like I'm constantly eating!
Shit that Sucks: Sitting up to do anything...driving, peeing, watching TV.....His feet are so high that when I sit up somewhat straight I can't breathe at all and they dig (which is extremely painful) into my rib/lungs!
Struggles: I'm trying to embrace stretch marks.....trying is the key word. I only got a few with Layne....and now a "few" more. I keep telling myself that I'm getting more because he's a big baby, which is good, and that they are my cliche tiger stripes. I know I shouldn't complain, they are light and aren't deep, but I can only imagine what this deflated balloon will look like when it's all said and done!
Successes: Not sure if it is the full-blown nesting yet or not, but I cleaned and scrubbed our entire basement this last weekend, and our upstairs last night.....tonight/tomorrow I'm going to tackle the main floor and ceiling fans! I love the feeling of a clean house, but not the swollen feet that go along with the work!
Mood Swings: Being a Type A personality AND pregnant is a poor combination. I might have snapped on Dayton's van driver for having no common sense. And I might have gotten short with the checker at the grocery store for how she was bagging my groceries. BUT in my defense, I put all items that should be bagged together on the belt together. Produce, then refrigerated items, then bread, then boxed items, and finally canned goods....She piled all of it and then bagged it with ZERO regard for order or my poor bananas at the bottom of the pile.....
Milestones: Set a c-section date! If I don't go into labor before, Jayce will be evicted on May 26th! Woot woot! I wasn't ok with setting a date until I realized how difficult it is to get a scheduled c-section at the hospital I'm going to. Always easier to cancel it rather than try to get one at the last minute scheduled.
Funny: I had to get my thyroid levels checked today (I've had hypothyroidism/Hashimotos for the last 5 years). Anyways, the lab lady is the sweetest lady ever! She normally gets my vein on the first try, well today they were rolling like crazy and she had to poke both arms. She then told me, "You are so little! I would never guess you are almost done being pregnant!" How sweet is she! I'm pretty sure she just felt bad for poking the hell out of me!
Inside the Hormonal Brain: I'm freaking out a bit! With "D-Day" 5 weeks away, which is only 35 days, I feel completely overwhelmed suddenly! I worried about delivery. Will I go into labor early on my own? What will that be like? Will I have a c-section? Will I be able to nurse this time or fail miserably again? What will he look like? How big will he be? Will the boys completely regress when he comes home? All these questions and more keep me awake at night, and I don't really have a way to put my mind at ease, because there are no answers yet! For someone who likes routine, planning, and predictability......these final weeks are stressful!


NURSERY SNEAK PEEK!

Now the nursery is MOSTLY done, I still have a few finishing details left to do, so you are just getting a preview! Our color scheme is gray, white, navy and lime green! We don't have a "theme" and I love it!

Highly recommend Uppercase Living for any decals you might need! They actually stick well, unlike some I've gotten other places before. The mobile is from My Baby Sam on Amazon.


This is pure love and practicality for me! Peg board above the changing table with diapers, wipes, creams, etc.! My husband is great! The ABCs is from Paper Plane Prints on Etsy!

All credit goes to my other half! He built these custom bookshelves and then painted them green. I didn't think I would love them, but I do!

There will be more to come in the coming weeks!!!

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The Lost Art of Saying No

In order to save life, limbs and sanity, I use the word "no" quite frequently. (gasp!) I don't know when there was a shift in parenting styles or what, but it seems like current parents (as a majority) are afraid to use the word "no". In turn, a world of entitled, self-absorbed, the world-revolves-around-me, assholes are being created. There I said it.

Now yeah I know I'm still in the toddler age, and no, I don't have teenagers right now, but the toddler stage is when children build the foundation that they will blossom from. Roses require good ground to grow from and careful attention to reach their full potential, they can still be pokey, but are beautiful. Weeds, well those bitches can grow anywhere.

With my current line of work, that of the unpaid, but keep little people alive persuasion, I run errands during the hours of dawn and nap time. It seems to be that the only other people that shop during these hours are the elderly and other moms with children. At times it is difficult for me to keep my mouth shut, but if people would just tell their kids "No!" my shopping would be much more pleasurable.

I recently witnessed a mom have a full blown "let's discuss this" with her 2 year old. Hey lady, hate to break it to you, 2 year olds don't reason anything. He wants to stand in the cart because you let him stand in the cart and now that you want him to sit down since he is trying to climb out, he is having a meltdown. There are these things called straps. Tell him no, sit him down, buckle him in, and move on. He can cry, it won't kill him, and I'd rather listen to him cry while picking out my grapes knowing that you were the parent for a change rather than hear you tell him, "Please sit down honey. Why are you upset? We don't scream. I'll let you stand if you just stop screaming. Do you want some candy?"

Food is what most kids worlds revolve around, but let's be honest, they use our knowledge of that in an attempt to manipulate a situation for all it's worth. (Walking down the snack/cookie aisle, mom and 3 school-age kids) "Mom can we get cookies?" Mom told them no. Bravo! Oh wait, then the nagging begins. "Mom please, we are so hungry and we don't have any cookies at home to eat!" Mom again says no, only then to cave when the youngest protests very loudly that her mother is trying to starve her. Well played children........ Sometimes it's hard to stick to your guns, but I've developed the, "Aw fuck it" mentality when worrying what other shoppers are thinking of me. I also sing to myself, and loud enough people I pass can hear it, "I can't hear you. Please cry louder. No one cares, and we love it when you scream!"

Can we speak to electronic devices? I'm probably going to ruffle a few feathers with this one. But why do they have to go everywhere? What happened to kids figuring out how to occupy their time when they are bored in the car, at a restaurant or family gathering? We have a DVD player in the car, but it only gets turned on if we are going somewhere that will take hours, yes hours. Around town? No way! And kids that are glued to an Ipad or smartphone during dinner drive me bonkers! How is a child suppose to learn proper social interactions or how to act in public if they are glued to a device? Sit down, and either talk to the table, listen or color, those are your options.

And then I see these parents, usually parents of teenagers, try to be best friends with their kids. Why? They have friends, you should already have friends, you don't need to be BFFs with your kid. My favorite thing I've heard is, "Well, I don't like confrontation, so I just don't tell her no. And we are friends, so I totally trust her." Ummmm ok? I can only imagine all the things that girl gets away with! Kids need parents to raise them and give them structure and friends (who are peers) to be social with. Hate to break it to you, parents can't be both. I don't think it is possible to be friends with your child till they are an adult, living on their own and paying all of their own bills. Until that happens, they still need you to be a hard-ass and give them boundaries.

Please don't report me to the Parent-Shaming Academy, I'm sure that all parents that fall into these traps have good intentions, but as an outsider looking in, I'm scared for what 10 years from now looks like for you and anyone that deals with your child.

So I beg you, parents of the world, tell your child no. Be the parent and set some damn limits. The world will thank you!

Kayden and Dayton showing some brotherly "love" while at Target!

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Pure Chaos!- 32 Week Pregnancy Update

Chaos pretty much describes my life right now! With 8 or less weeks left (actually 55 days to be exact), I find myself pretty much losing my shit on the daily. Anyone who has been in a third trimester of pregnancy before can probably relate!

No joke....I was this big on delivery day with Layne......
Weight Gain/Loss: Still hovering around 30 pounds total, but as my lovely father told me, "You're the size of a house!"......so sweet!
How Far Along: 32 Weeks + 1 Day
Fruit of the Week: Baby is the size of a head of lettuce....whatever that means!
Baby Buys: I've bought some little things like the tummy stickers for his monthly pictures, the lettering for his walls, and then some necessities like a new ceiling fan and new blinds. The nursery is nearly done!
Movement: With his head in my vagina, his hiccups are driving me bonkers! It's the most awkward feeling ever, and then when he kicks while doing this, it makes me want to lose my shit!
Dreams: Having dreams would require sleeping, and I don't do much of that anymore! If I get 5-6 hours total a night, I'm doing good.
Position: Head down, butt on my ribs with his feet tucked under......as comfortable as you can imagine!
Cravings: I want wings, and Chinese, and ranch, and salad, and onion rings........none of which I have recently indulged in. Living in a town with no place to eat besides Subway makes cravings just an annoyance, because they always go unsatisfied!
Shit that Sucks: I mentioned my lack of sleep. Well it's obnoxious! With no sleep, and children that suck every last bit of energy out of me during the day, I'm a raging see you next Tuesday by the time that Jason gets home after work! I feel terrible about it, and I'm not trying to be a bitch.....just every word that I manage to formulate and then spill into a sentence makes me seem like not a very nice person. Sorry......
Struggles: Apparently there becomes a point when maternity clothes don't fit/fit well........yep...I'm there!
Successes: Our friend scored Garth Brooks tickets for us, and I'm super excited! I'll be 37 weeks pregnant at the time of the concert (she'll be 39 weeks pregnant).....so it will be a success if we DON'T go into labor during the concert! After is fine, just not during!
Mood Swings: Just call me a hot mess express! People mention the mood swings that happen in the first trimester, but rarely mention the dreaded third trimester ones. Anyone past 30 weeks pregnant is crazy. Certifiably nuts! We are irrational about everything, we cry, we yell, we say hateful things, and then struggle to understand why people get annoyed/irritated with us.......please people, just hug us, love us and help make our requests happen.
Milestones: Still pregnant? Does that count? I can't think of anything monumental right now.
Funny: Kayden (2 1/2) is currently potty training. Which on a side note, is probably the most exhausting task that one can try to tackle at this point. Anyways, he tells us daily everywhere he shouldn't go potty. "Don't poop/pee on the floor." "Don't poop/pee on my blankies." "Don't pee on grandma." We've now added to our list, "Don't pee on the baby." Sweet, right?!
Inside the Hormonal Brain: I wish men understood or had to endure what their wives are going through at this point. Everything hurts. I have no energy. I'm hungry all the time. I feel ugly/huge/unattractive.  I want the house clean, but it exhausts me to do it. I feel the need to prep everything. So with that being said, some men/my husband asks the dumbest questions.
"You can nap, why are you tired?" -I don't sleep. I lay there hoping that I'll sleep, but it never happens.
"We just had dinner. A bowl of cereal already?"  -Yeah, I'm starving. Shut your face!
"Why do you have to clean? It can wait." - Till the morning, when the mess is still here and you are at work?
I'll stop with that, because I get fired up even thinking about it! So to all men, please go above and beyond at this point. Clean, offer to cook, take care of the kids, let her lay down whenever she wants.....it will be greatly appreciated!

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Life Lessons Learned At Wal-Mart From A Raging Republican

The title says it all. I went to Wal-Mart on purpose for the first time in years, literally, and my blood runs red, Republican Red. Hate it, well stop reading now then, because my political views MIGHT bleed through into this.

Let me paint you a picture of my walk in. I parked my car in the second from last parking stall, away from everyone, in hopes to avoid being jumped and/or door dinged. The world is full of possibilities! Anyways, I notice as I'm walking in that the parking lot is very dirty, littered with empty cigarette packages and the mini liquor bottles all the way up to the front door. I'm sure you are thinking, yeah, whatever, you are exaggerating. Oh I wish I was! And this place was PACKED! It could be that it is a holiday weekend, or that it is the first of the month. No, I'm not assuming that most people's government assistance just got deposited, I'm just saying that they are shopping for this months supplies and carting out three carts at a time. Geez people!

Once I made it in, I became an immediate people watcher and student. After all, I was learning some of life's most important lessons!

The restrooms are romantic.
I rushed into the bathroom as soon as I got there about to pee my pants. I went through 4 stalls till I found one with toilet paper! Then as I'm relieving my exhausted pregnant lady bladder, I hear a male and female voice walk in and go into one of the stalls without toilet paper. What they were doing there, I don't know. Drug deal? Maybe. Whispering sweet nothings to each other? Possible. All I know is that they were still in there when I left....and they were very quiet.

Holiday aisles make people crazy!
I was there to pick up some Easter stuff for the boys, so of course, I was in the seasonal aisle. You would have thought that it was Black Friday up in there! People were pushing each other, reaching over other people's carts to grab a certain bag of candy, and grabbing stuff out of other people's carts. It was nuts!

Carts are the go-to babysitter. 
I wish I would have known this earlier! Instead of disciplining my children and making them listen while out and about, I should just give them a shopping cart and let them run wild while I wonder around. They could race up and down the aisles, play bumper carts, or even run into random shoppers!

Highlights on an EBT budget.
Let me break this down for you. There is a salon apparently in Wal-Mart, and I'm sure the beauticians are licensed....I just wouldn't go there. Anyways, the lady checking out in front of me had to run her (and two of her friends') pops separate from the rest of her items so that she could use her EBT card. Now before you come at me with the pitchforks, I support helping people with food and such that really need it. I've seen a lot of single, hard working moms benefit from the program and eventually get off of it. It's the lifers that have been on it forever, have their nails done, new Coach bags and ...........are asking the Wal-Mart hair lady about highlights, that drive me bonkers! Hey lady, MAYBE you are getting too much assistance if you are able to afford all these luxuries! Or I guess I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, she must really know how to budget things out!

If someone can't hear you, yell louder.
Yelling isn't my favorite thing to do, but I guess it's pretty popular! When I finally made it through the 30 minute line and out the door there was a woman in the handicap parking stall with 4 kids that were calling her mom but looked nothing alike. Either they were adopted (which would be awesome) or they have very diverse DNA..... The woman was on the phone SCREAMING, I still could hear her and make out some of the things she was saying while unloading my cart nearly half a block away. I guess someone forgot about picking a kid up for their weekend....

After reading this you probably think I'm a horrible, judgmental person. Well, that's your perspective. I was nice to everyone, so that counts for something, right?! I'm not saying I will never go back to Wal-Mart. I'm just saying until a gun is to my head making me, I will go to 5 different stores to get all of the same things that I got there!

Some of the Easter loot I got!