Saturday, January 16, 2016

I'm Not Crunchy.....Just Cheap & Lazy

Please for the love of mercy, clean the sand out of your lady parts and get off my back! I'm not crunchy!

Let me educate you, because clearly it is needed!

Crunchy mama defined (per Urban Dictionary): Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods.

As a mom of four kids, my parenting style is constantly envolving. Things change with time, new research supports different things, and exposure to new experiences and ideas change my way of thinking.

For anyone that isn't a regular follower, I breastfeed, baby wear, reluctantly co-sleep and just recently began cloth diapering. Apparently that last one was the one that broke the camels back! I've been told I'm a hippy, crunchy, yada yada yada........ummmm let me correct you, I'm cheap and lazy!

Baby fusses. Stick a boob in his mouth. Baby gets an owie. Stick a boob in his mouth. Baby is tired. Stick a boob in his mouth. Baby is bored and wants to pull hair. Stick a boob in his mouth. See the trend here, my sweater puppets keep me from having to symptom check other things, pretty lazy on my part, and they are free, so I enjoy the financial aspect as well!
Add, try to pay bills and baby wants to play with the's the solution!
I've been asked a zillion times how I go out with all the kids at once by myself. My answer always begins with, "Well, Jayce goes in the Tula." The thought of carrying an infant car seat around while keeping hold of the other 2-3 kids I have with me sounds utterly exhausting. So yes, baby wearing for the win, because I don't really want to use more energy than is necessary!

Co-sleeping just happens, please see previous paragraph about what happens when the baby fusses or is tired. I don't want him to sleep in our bed, but it again, seems awfully tiring to get up and stay awake everytime he wants to eat at night, I'd rather just "open the buffet" and go back to sleep!

Love the snuggles though!
As for cloth diapering, it is SO much cheaper than disposables! (Google it, it's true) I completely regret not doing it earlier in child rearing! I'm all about saving a dime! So when people say, " have to deal with *gasp*.....shit!" Yeah, just as much as when I clean out shitty underwear from an accident a kid had or clean it up off the floor when someone didn't make it in time. Turns out, dealing with shit is part of parenting, I'm just choosing the cheaper way!

The cute prints help too!
So no, I'm not a Crunchy Mama. I eat meat, had a c-section, yell at my kids while calling them a-holes under my breath, and vaccinate everyone!

I'm yet to find a window decal that fits my current lifestyle....... Where's the one that has all the symbols followed by "Tired Cheap Mama"!

Oh and let's not forget, I just put an amber teething necklace on the baby, because at this point I'll try anything! #teethingisabitch

Necklace is under that double chin!

To the legit Crunchy Mamas out there, you go girls! Do what you do, no judgement, it's just not me!

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  1. I'm going to make that decal with "cheap and lazy" under it now. ��

  2. This made me laugh out I lay in bed with my 5 month old sleeping/nursing. I also wear her. So easy.

  3. This made me laugh out I lay in bed with my 5 month old sleeping/nursing. I also wear her. So easy.

  4. We don't co-sleep but we babywear, started cloth diapers at 15 months, still nursing at 20 months... I call myself crispy. :-D

  5. Oh my gosh this is so me!! Except I still use disposables because my dad buys them for me lol.

  6. Love this! Makes me laugh how I get called crunchy as soon as people find out I cloth diaper or my little dude has a amber necklace on. Whatever keeps my LO happy with out breaking the bank works for us!

  7. Well I think we just became best friends! This was my EXACT attitude when approaching parenthood. What is the cheapest and easiest way to survive this?

  8. Yes yes yes!!! Perfect. I'm right there with you mama! Crunchy parenting? No lazy parenting, love it!! So truthful. Boobs fix everything.

  9. Thanks for reppin' all of us cheap, lazy bitches! #cheaplazymoms

  10. I m glad to hear you vaccinate and do all other "alternative" methods of parenting because you want to..not cuz you feel pressure to do so. I can't tell you how many times I've been looked down on cuz we don't co sleep, use the no cry method, wear cloth diapers, and breast feed til they are in kindergarten. Do what's best for you and yours, and I ll do what's best for mine. Great post.

  11. I am a cheap lazy mom too! I don't cloth diaper because, well, I am too lazy...and I get a GREAT discount on diapers. But I do breastfeed, had a c-section, co-sleep because that is where the kid fell asleep and so on. Whatever gets you through the day! Go you!

  12. Hahaha! Oh god, I so relate to you here for most of it. I don't think anybody fits any definition perfectly though. I breastfeed (beyond 1!), cosleep, cloth diaper, and I've had a home birth. I also vaccinate, eat meat, and don't particularly care about organic (not that I could afford it if I did care). You do you, mama!

  13. Omg! Yes! I do consider myself "semi-crunchy" because of these things, but I do them pretty much solely because I am also cheap and lazy 😂 I make decals and I'm totally inspired to make a lazy one now!