Tuesday, May 31, 2016

My Perfect "Little" Family

First off, thank you for all the love on Jayce's birthday and the pictures we took for it! His bum and my c-section scar was trending on Instagram for awhile under like 5 different hashtags until the Instagram police removed it because it showed a bare baby butt! I was super pissed, but I get it, whatever! If you missed that post, check it out here.

A few weeks ago we had family pictures taken also. Jayce was grumpy, Layne was all "ehh whatever," Kayden was amped up and Dayton I think was mentally plotting ways to kill us! Oh and the hubs was just counting down the minutes till we were done! Add in the fact that it was humid and the grass was wet, I was sure we would have shitty pictures! But on the upside, my photographer brought me coffee, so I was a happy camper. One out of six isn't bad!

To say I was impressed by our results is an understatement! And seriously people, my bearded husband's mustache, well it speaks for itself! So let me just flood you with adorableness, if that's even a word!

Now I love my little family, and yes I get that Jayce is one now, but the reality is I still have baby weight to lose, plus some of Layne. I'm trying to practice more self-love, but I REALLY hate pictures of myself! All I see is the double chin....sooooo much chin, and flat curls (damn humidity)! But I'm sharing these, because I love all these men so much! And well......they don't really care what I see in myself, they just know my world revolves around loving on them!

Because everyone eats their toes?!

Me- "Put your hand on my stomach and pretend we're pregnant" 
Jason- "What?! No!"
And this was the result! But seriously, nothing is baking in this oven!

Photos taken by Tori Bruno Photography or on Facebook here!

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Thursday, May 26, 2016

Happy First Birthday Jayce! Picture Overload!!!

I'm writing this post while sobbing! How is it possible that a year has already past and my baby is ONE! I'm not ready for this moment! I was a hot tearful mess last night putting him to bed, while my husband sat there and laughed at me. "He's just one, that is all. I don't understand why you are so upset!"

Through the gasps for air I told him, "But he's probably my last baby ever and I'm not ready for that. I don't want to be done with babies. I don't feel like our family is complete, even though it probably is. I'm gasp just gasp SO SAD gasp gasp gasp!!!!"

But this day is about the happy and healthy baby boy we are raising! Jayce Thomas loves his mama and still nurses on demand like crazy! He doesn't sleep through the night, like at all, but last night especially, I'm ok with that! He loves his daddy too, especially when he can get a good grip on that beard of his!

He weighs 23-ish pounds, and I have no idea how long he is. Jayce LOVES his brothers! He's been walking since 10 1/2 months, so at this point he's pretty much running to keep up with them. Kayden is obsessed with him, and Layne still is like "ehh, he's ok." He loves food! The only thing that I've found that makes him gag, because he hates it so much......strawberries. What the hell?! I still don't understand it!

So we are doing a lumberjack theme for his birthday! We just got some pictures taken over the weekend, and they are amazing! I'll stop talking and just overload with pictures at this point!

Photos taken by Tori Bruno Photography or on Facebook here!

The following pictures are for me more than they are for him. My husband after seeing them said, "They are pretty, but how weird will it be when he is 18 and sees them."

My response, "Not weird at all, and really I don't care. I have worked my ass off for this moment. I never thought I would make it to a year breastfeeding, and I've done it! I've sacrificed nights out, sleep, the ability to just go somewhere without him, being pudgy because cutting calories dropped my milk supply drastically or even sleeping by myself. And that scar and those stripes, I've fucking earned! Between Layne and Jayce's pregnancies, I get to show off my scar and those stretch marks, because both marks made their lives possible!"

So if any of the above items bother you, don't keep scrolling!

Look for another post next week with all of our AMAZING family pictures!!!

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Sunday, May 22, 2016

More Babies=Better Mom

First off, no I'm not pregnant! I realized today that the more babies I have, the better mom I become. Some parents feel like they have to do the same thing with each kid, like the kids will be upset when they are older if they didn't get their monthly pictures taken. And well, maybe they will, but chances are the probably won't. No judgement to those parents that feel that way, everyone does what they think is best. But here's how I see it with my four kids!

Oldest: Pure Survival
Dayton is our oldest, and since we didn't get him till he was 3, our parenting skills were far from that of a seasoned vet. We were still stuck in our non-parent minds. Dinner didn't get made till 7pm. I thought that I needed to give baths every single night (that quickly faded!). Bedtime was horrendous and sometimes he would just lay next to me staring directly at me, totally not creepy at all!

I'd let him play Play-Doh on the deck, because I didn't want him to make the house messy. I did this while I sat and watched him from the kitchen window, because I just wanted a moment of quiet.

There was a time when he was outside and was playing in the bird bath, I didn't stop it, because he was happy doing it and I didn't have to parent him for the 15 minutes it kept him occuppied. He might've drank some of that water......

This pretty much sums up being the oldest!
Second: Experimental
Kayden came to us at 7 months, the same time as Dayton (obviously, being brothers and all). He was on formula, ate jar baby food, and transistioned to a sippy at exactly 12 months.

Everything was on my terms, because being a "good" mom meant that I was in charge. He slept in his crib, never with us. I used a baby carrier with him, but it was the shittiest carrier in the world and I hated every minute of it, so we used a stroller most of the time.

I was so afraid to mess up this mom thing. But I really sucked in hindsight! I can't tell you when he took his first steps, I know it was around a year. I didn't take monthly baby pictures, and even at a year we didn't do any. Hell we celebrated his first birthday a month late! It was definetly a trial by fire!

Experimenting with trying to take our own pictures.....fail!
Third: Faker
Yep, by our third, Layne, I TOTALLY knew what I was doing! (I'm eyerolling myself at this point) I breastfed, for three weeks before switching to formula. I learned to babywear with a wrap and ring sling, then finally at 9 months I got a Tula and fell in love!

We did jar food till 10 months, when I switched him to table food. He NEVER once slept in our bed with us. I only ever put him on his back, because you know, back is best! Took the bottle away at 12 months just like I had done with Kayden. But guess what? I might've seemed like my shit was together, but nope, just faking it!

I took shitty bump selfies, and never got materinty pictures. He got newborn pictures done (in the hospital) and then I got some professional ones done at 4 months not to be repeated till......almost 2 years old! I did do monthly sticker pictures, so that has to be worth someething!

I kicked him out of his crib and into a twin bed at 18 months, and that was a poor decision! He stopped sleeping like a dream and started waking up at 5am. Third time, definetly wasn't a charm!

First birthday cash "smash" or using a fork, whatevs!
Fourth: Shit Has Hit the Fan
Really by number four, everything has gone out the window. Jayce has been the result of the trials and tribulations with his brothers! Let me give this fun rundown!

He's fully breastfed, never has had formula. He sleeps with us every night, and when I put him in his crib, he's on his belly, with a blanket *gasp*! He's eaten a handful of jarred baby food, but then I realized it was a pain in the ass and took too much time, so we started baby led weaning.

I've used some sort of baby carrier since birth. I feel like a pro at this point, mostly out of necessity! Then there is my cloth diaper obsession, nothing like starting a brand new thing with your fouth kid!

Jayce technically has baby toys, but has never really played with them. Hot wheels, trains, Potato Head; bascially if it says "Ages 3+" or "Choking Hazard" he probably plays with it, surpervised of course!

We did newborn pictures (at the hospital of course, because I'm lazy), again at 4 months, but then we just did first birthday pictures with a pancake smash! We did nursing pictures too! Oh and his first birthday party in a few weeks, I'm going a bit Pinterest balls to the wall on it!!!

Such a squishy newborn!!!
I don't feel guilty that I haven't raised each kid the exact same! I feel like with every kid I've learned what is important and what isn't. Part of me wishes we had done the textbook photo ops, but at the time it wasn't in the budget and wasn't a priority. I wish I knew what I know now when we had first gotten the boys, I'd be a rockstar by now!

Big families have got it figured out! You know why moms of 6 or 8 or 10 kids don't look like they are losing their shit, because they've had a shit ton of practice!

Will we have more babies? Ehhh maybe in a few years, but for now, I'll keep perfecting my skills!

STAY TUNED FOR THURSDAY'S POST!!! I'm hoping to have some AMAZING pictures to share with you!!!

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Thursday, May 5, 2016

My Eyelash Wish for My Children on Mother's Day

I started writing my blog as my own personal release, and it's since transformed into a whole new beast of its own. It's evolved into something that I want my boys to be able to look back on and read (even the raunchy parts) so that they can really know me as a mother. The mother I am today, is not the mother I will be in 20 years when they might look at what I've written. There are things I do, that they probably never know I do or will remember.

I love to watch them sleep, and brush their hair off their forehead. I sometimes pick them up when they are out cold and rock them, just because. I smell their hair when they snuggle up onto my lap, even if somedays it smells like dirty little boy. I ache at the thought of them not needing me anymore. My heart is heavy with the thoughts of them one day leaving our home, never to live here again.

But one thing I want them to know, because tomorrow is never a guarantee, I make an eyelash wish for our family every time it presents itself. My husband doesn't even know I do this. Yesterday a lash was laying on Jayce's cheek, I picked it up and made the same wish I've been making since Jason and I were engaged. I closed my eyes and silently spoke, "I wish for our family to be happy and healthy and together forever," then blew the eyelash away. I've done this more times than I can remember, and most of the time without even thinking of it.

I am the product of a broken home, my parents divorced when I was in kindergarten. I have a sister I don't speak to. So my little family is everything to me!

I want my boys to grow up learning how to love others, because they see how their daddy and I love each other and them. I want them to always have each other. Even though there will be fights, and disagreements, and other people will come into the picture, family is always first. I will make them hug it out, even if they are 45, because there is nothing in this world that is important enough to break this crew apart!

So for this Mother's Day, we have no plans. Everyone is still too little to have a full understanding of the day. We will snuggle and watch Mickey Mouse, and mama might get to take nap. But rest assured, if an eyelash falls, I will be sure to make a wish on it!

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