Friday, September 2, 2016

Why We Are "Those" Neighbors

You know how every neighborhood has "those" neighbors. Nobody really says anything about it, well, because then they might know that everyone that surrounds them is constantly judging them. Let me take this moment to raise my hand and admit, we are "those" neighbors. I'm kind of embarrassed by it on one hand, but I'm throwing the middle finger up with the other!

We are terrible groundskeepers.
Some people live in their yard. They slave away mowing, weed eating and using their fancy edger. They get down on their hands and knees to pull weeds and meticulously groom their flower beds. Well, we are not those people.

We mow when it's gotten to the point that the children notice it (usually because it's sprouting seeds), but I like to think of it just being frugal and saving money on grass seed; like organic and shit! (Environmental win over here!) And our favorite weed eater is SUPER fancy, we call it Round-Up. The brown lines around everything clearly are an accent color to the green, right?

Our neighborhood though is the one in which everyone mows between one and six times a week. The family across the street pretty much only takes a quarter inch off each time. I peer through our jungle grass at him and wave, while I'm mentally cursing him out for making our yard look that much longer!

We aren't very neighborly.
Yes we say hello when we see others out and about. And we will help them out if they need something. But I'm not living up to the small town neighborhood dream. We know the first and last name of two of our neighbors (thank goodness one of them have it their front yard, or I'd forget it). I couldn't pick out who lives in the rest of the homes around us if I tried. We've never had a backyard BBQ with anyone. I mean, all of that neighborly stuff you see on TV all of the time, has yet to happen with us.

Our children have no boundaries.
We live in a small town, so our children think that everyone is their friend. But one of our neighbors (who I have never seen outside) is a couple in their mid-90s. We were playing outside one day when our two year old thought he should chase a bird into their yard....and then walk into their front door like he owned the place. He's never met them. I jerked him out before he had a chance to destroy something, shouted "Hello, it's just your neighbor," and quickly left while scolding him about not going into other people's homes.

And our other neighbor, whose house we walk by every day. My son has peed on their sidewalk/yard more times then I would like to admit. It's usually because he won't go before we have to leave for school, and then twenty feet down the sidewalk, it hits him. I won't even begin on the number of times I've had a completely naked child running around outside.

Volume level is constantly on 100.
There is a lot of noise that comes from our house. The kids will scream when we are outside like they are on fire, but it is really because I told them to not play with a steel shovel. And I'm pretty sure our neighbors know our kids' names due to the amount of times I scream them in a 15 minute time frame.

And that nice time of year where you can have your windows open and let the breeze run through the house, yeah, that's a struggle. Everyone  in the neighborhood will know when someone went poop, or who hit who! They also might hear a deranged mother threatening to take away everything that is in the house if the kids don't get it together!

We stretch our property line.
We bought a new camper this summer, a 35 foot 5 inches beauty! Our driveway (that we poured completely new to the street with our own money) is 36 feet. So yes, the tongue of the trailer goes pretty much to the street, but we own that shit, so it's ours to use. We didn't think much of it, no one has said anything, and in a town where they like to send angry letters (*cough* not that I've ever gotten one), we haven't received anything.

Then I was talking to a mom when picking up from school this week. We shared pleasantries about the summer and I mentioned the camper. I was quickly cut-off and asked, "Ohhhhh so you're the house who has the big ass camper that goes past the sidewalk?!" Umm yep, that would be us. I smiled and walked away, clearly we aren't going to be besties.

Our projects always take way too long.
Our deck in the backyard took a year and a half to finish. So until it was done, our backyard resembled a run down lumber yard.

We put siding on our house (isn't home ownership a dream) last spring, it was suppose to take a week, ours took 3. Our contractor had different reasons as to why it took so long, my only real concern is that the workers worked 10-12 hours, never left, but never asked to use the restroom? I'm only going to assume the worse at that point.

Then there was that new driveway I talked about that we got. Well we live on one of the main drags to the schools in town. Our cement got poured from 8-9am on like a Thursday. The cement truck had the entire road blocked during "rush hour commute." Judging by the amount of peel-outs I heard that morning, I doubt anyone was pleased with us.
Because it was totally normal for me to sit in my car and capture them pouring it....I guess!?

I've just realized we aren't meant to have neighbors. We need to be on a secluded compound where our crazies can run wild, but until that day happens, I guess we will just continue to be "those" neighbors.

Are you one of "those" neighbors? Or do you have one of "those" neighbors? Leave me a comment below! I'd love to hear that we aren't the only horrible people out there!

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  1. I have to admit-I am also that neighbor-especially the weed killer instead of a weed whacker=much easier and much faster.

  2. Nicole,you are not alone. Not only do our neighbors grimace at our yard, but my mil let's me know regularly, that our yard looks like crap. Don't even get me started on all the free stuff my husband puts on our porch and our unkept garden (volunteer veggies from last year along with weeds).