Saturday, August 13, 2016

Adoption Defines Your Past, Not Your Present

First Birthday!
Your birthday is just around the corner, it's the fourth birthday we've celebrated with you. It doesn't seem like that monumental of a year, but it really is for you.

Something has been happening recently, you are changing. You have morphed from an unaware toddler to a curious, wondering child. We gave you your origination story when you were three, because like all superheroes, you came from somewhere different than where you are now. But it was short and simple. We didn't give you any real details or explanations, because you didn't ask for them. You didn't ask original questions that your mind wondered about or follow every answer we gave you with an additional question.

Now, now things are different.

We talk about your adoption a lot, and buddy I love that this isn't a secret you are going to stumble upon when you are 15 and rifling through our paperwork out of curiosity.

Adoption Day!
I love that you sort of have an idea about your birth mom, although I don't think you fully grasp it yet. I know you wonder about her, and ask where she sleeps; I wish I had answers for you. I can tell you that she loved you, but had her own struggles.

And your birth dad we don't talk about much, well because I'm not ready for the "where babies come from" question. He's a great guy though, but he wasn't ready to be a daddy when you were little, and he thought that we would be great parents to you. I like to believe he was right!

I chuckle when you ask questions about how daddy and I did took care of you when you were a baby. Those are the easy questions! I promise that we will always answer your questions honestly though, no matter how difficult they may be.

This is the face I see when I think of you as a baby!
But honey, I want this to be clear to you, your adoption defines your past, not your present. You didn't grow in my belly like your little brothers, and I don't have newborn pictures of you. But no other mommy is going to come and take you away to their house, I know that is something you are often afraid of in your dreams. You are ours forever and ever!

I do have a fear though, a really scary fear. I fear that when you get older and go through that "hate your parents" phase, you'll say we aren't your real parents. I cringe thinking of it. I know that it is a ways off, but with all of the changes in your questions lately, I worry it's sooner than later.

We are your mommy and daddy though. Your brothers are your brothers. Blood doesn't make family, love does, and baby we love you more than you could ever know. Remember that sweet boy. You are the smartest, funniest, and most delightful boy we could've ever been blessed with!

We are so thankful to celebrate this birthday with you, and the many more to come! We love you!

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