Wednesday, July 27, 2016

To My Child On The Day You F#@% Up

Hey Kid!

I'm writing this to you while you are still cute and somewhat innocent. You still love your dad and me and the sun and moon revolve around hugs, kisses, and tickle fights with us. I love that you still think we are the coolest people in the world and you want to spend all of your time within a half inch of us. You even beg us to watch you pee and insist on us looking at your poop.

No empty laps are allowed in this house.
Layne, you begged me to watch you poop and cried when I wouldn't hold your hand.
(You can thank Kayden for ripping off the toilet paper holder the first time, and your handy work for the second time)
I know this will all fade soon and things will change. You'll want to go out at night and hang out with your friends more than us. Love interests will take over your thoughts and I'm sure that grabbing pizza as a family will result in eye-rolling and death looks. 

There is one thing I know for sure, you will fuck up at some point.

It might be something big and life changing, or something that won't matter a few years down the road, but seems like the end of the world at the moment. One thing we know for sure; it will happen eventually. I want you to know a few things for when this does happen. 

Tell us first.
Finding out through the grapevine doesn't sit well with us. We want to hear it from the horse's mouth. Take responsibility, suck it up and tell us. 

We will yell.
Your dad and I love you more than anything else, we truly do. We are also very passionate people, in that slash your tires then buy you new ones type of way. So just be prepared. Your dad will say one too many cuss words, and I will lecture your ear off. But we can't yell forever, and we will eventually calm down. Just give it a minute, or ten.

There will be consequences.
Everything has a consequence. No, we will not run to your teacher and defend your case when you mess up, they are right and you are wrong. No, we won't try to "fix" everything around you so that you don't feel pain/loss/disappointment. These are all things that you will always have to deal with in life, better get used to it.

The world will keep turning. 
You might feel like nothing can fix it, and everything is ruined. Guess what though? The morning after, the sun will come up, and every morning after that. You might have to fight through some challenges, but every day will be new again.

We live in a world right now where parents are trying to bubble wrap the world around their kids. Everything is about warm fuzzies, participation trophies and being sure no one's feelings are hurt. Sorry buddy, you drew the old school straw for parents.

We won't try to be the perfect parents that make sure you your fuck ups don't really effect you, and instead pass the blame to someone else. We won't sugar coat life for you. There will be hard work, tears, and sweat; accept it and move on. 

But we will love you, be your support and your shoulder to cry on. We will try to provide you with the life skills in order to turn every stupid mistake you make into a learning opportunity.

And as I write this with you next to me, I just want to remind you. You just told your father and me that we are "the best!" Remember that in 10 years while you are stomping upstairs and living in a bedroom that has lost its door because you slammed it one too many times. 

Love,

Mom

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