Friday, July 15, 2016

5 Reasons I'm Not "Super Mom"

I get told a lot that I'm "Super Mom" by friends and family. Maybe it's that I take all 4 boys on outings alone? Really I'm just too much of an extrovert to stay within four walls all day long without interacting with society. Maybe it's the amount of shit I clean up daily? I am impressed by it myself. Maybe it's that I've not been committed to an asylum yet? Although there are some days I've thought of self-committing and calling it a 24-72 hour vacation. I don't know. As flattered as I am to hear that, knowing that it is always from a place of good intention, I'm totally NOT one at all! 

1. I Yell
Bless those mothers that don't raise their voice over the appropriate church level decibel, I've never been that soft spoken. I'm constantly competing to be heard (call it the middle child syndrome) and therefore often sound like I'm in the trying to have a conversation at a rock concert. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR SNACK?" "DO YOU HAVE TO POOP!?" "STOP TRYING TO PICK YOUR BROTHER UP BY HIS NECK!"

2. I Create Unrealistic Fears
I'm not proud of this, but sometimes things fall out of my mouth and I can't shovel them back in. Kids are sponges and they take everything I say to heart. So yes, monsters are on the other side of the garage (along with sharp objects and greasy car parts), opening the bedroom window will cause bugs to come in and sting everyone (as well as make falling from the second story more likely), and constantly opening the access panel to the fireplace will make the flies come out and get you (while messing up every single function that it has).

3. I Ignore My Children
How many times can I repeat the same answer to the same question in a 7 minute time frame? The block dinosaur with an elephant nose was cute the first 9 times it was built. So when I've hit my limit for the day, I shut off. I give generic answers to things I'm not even sure I understand. I've probably agreed to things that I typically wouldn't, but hey, we're still alive!

4. TV Is My Bestie
I'm convinced that I wouldn't have made it as a stay-at-home mom during the pre-television times. Sometimes (ok, several times during the day), I need the kids to stop trying to kill each other and destroying the house so that I can get something accomplished. The whole, "they are only little for so long, cleaning or cooking can wait," saying is fine until you're up to your armpits in dirt, laundry and take out boxes. Mama has to get something done, and if some Mickey Mouse or PJ Masks can help me, then I'm game!

5. Fed Kids Are Happy Kids
I'm not saying that every time my kids present an emotion I shove food down their throats causing them to have food issues. But my kids definitely have the hangry attitudes with the slightest inkling of hunger or thirst. So our days revolve around their meal times. Yeah I'll pack 12 snacks for a four hour outing, and they may end up not wanting to eat lunch because of it. But hey, at least we didn't have a full on diva style meltdown while we were out! And I also possibly promised them a "special treat," like two marshmallows, if they would get in their car seats without fighting me. Positive reinforcement, right?

As you can see my parenting faults are pretty awesome, but this is what I know, and how I survive! I would love a cape though, maybe one that said, "I Fuck Up Daily!" I'd rock the hell out of that at Target and the grocery store!

This is what happens when #3 happens!

On a side note, I would love to thank everyone that showed me so much love with my first Huffington Post article! Your warm words, congratulations and shares made me blush! If you missed it, here is the link.

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1 comment:

  1. Love your writing style! There's so many challenges in parenting, no matter how or how many children arrived in your home over the years.

    How reassuring to know my teenager is not the only child with a potty- mouth pirate as a mom. Too many days seem to have a Sesame Street sponsorship---brought to you by the letter. aaaaarrrrrrrgg.

    Thanks for sharing your delightful blog.