Tuesday, March 22, 2016

3 Years Ago Life Changed

Three years ago today I met my first two "born" in that dingy shelter where foster kids go before getting placed. It's the day our world got flipped upside down with a sweet blue eyed seven month old and a "slightly autistic" three year old.

This was shortly after they were first placed with us!
Looking back on the last three years, I'm astonished how much Jason and I have grown as parents and how our boys and family have changed.

Dayton, that "slightly autistic" three old is now six years old. When we first got him he would just color, now he hates coloring. He use to only eat mac and cheese and chicken nuggets, now his menu has expanded and even includes a boat load of fruits and a couple vegetables. He's developed so much! He still doesn't speak, or use the bathroom, but he eats with utensils and can sign for more. This is progress. It's slow, and frustrating, but progress all the same.

We weren't prepared for the behaviors that come along with an autistic child the older they get. The violent outbursts, headbanging, biting, pinching, kicking and screaming. It happens more than we like to admit. Some times there are things that set him off, like dinner not being available right when he is hungry. Other times, there is nothing that we are aware of, it's like a switch flipped. It's a constrance uphill battle, but we are fighting. And no, we don't know what the future holds, but we are confident that we have supports everywhere to help us along the way!

That blue eyed baby's eyes have changed to almost a gray. When we first met Kayden, he couldn't sit up or roll over. Now he runs, jumps, and recently learned how to peddle his bike just like a 3 1/2 year old should! I like to call him my Sour Patch kid. He will be SO sweet one minute and then a little tornado the next. But boy does he love his mama! I think he'd marry me given the chance! Daddy is his idol and does no wrong in his eyes. He is also a great big brother to Layne and Jayce! He loves to try to teach them new things constantly!

He's started asking more questions. Questions that we knew would come up eventually, but never were fully prepared for it. He asks if he was in my belly like Jayce and Layne? He asks why there are pictures of their Adoption Day on the wall, and who all is in the picture?

He knows the word adoption, but is still too young to fully grasp it. We answer all of his questions with nothing but the truth. I tell him that he was in his birth mom's belly, just like Dayton. We use her name, because she gave him life and deserves credit for that. We tell him that the pictures are up there because that's the day we officially became a family. We tell him that the judge in the picture is the one who said that they could stay with us forever and be their mommy and daddy. For now, those answers satisfy him. I know it won't always be that way, but for now, it will do.

Oh how things have changed!!!


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3 comments:

  1. Love this! My nephew was adopted through foster care and my husband and I are starting the process to become foster parents this summer. There are only 10 foster families in our entire town:( thank you for sharing your story! Happy placement-versary:) come link up! Http://www.akreativewhim.com/weddings-yoga-dirty-diapers

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