Monday, February 29, 2016

I've Got Boobs In My Mouth

The are tied together.....Layne is the trailer....Not my idea at all!

Having little boys is a great time! I never know what they are going to do or say next, but the last week or so has been a complete exception to any rule that is out there.

I've got some high energy, ornery and lovable guys on my hands! My middles, Layne (2) and Kayden (3), are just 15 months apart, and they are the best of friends! They also wouldn't hesitate to push the other one down the stairs given the opportunity!

So here it is, the shit that they have done in the last week that makes me question everything in this world!

"Mom! Look, I've got boobs in my mouth!"- Kayden
He had a meatball in each cheek and was rubbing them with his hands! Oh boy!

"I peed on the baby...." -Layne
Because?!?! Oh that's right, he had no reason to, he just did it!

"MOOMMMMMMYYYYYY Layne pinched my penis!!!" -Kayden
No explanation really is needed........

"He pooped? Let me watch!"- Layne
Gross! But he insists watching Jayce and Dayton's poopy diaper's disgusting, and apparently requires and audience!

"Oh mom! She's pretty! She had pretty hair and painted lips!" - Kayden
He's referencing a balloon at the grocery store, not a real person. He's also obsessed with women that wear lipstick, I'm in trouble as he gets older!

"I want some to eat....." -Layne
While I was nursing the baby....Layne stopped nursing at 3 weeks old....get away dude!

"Hook your button and put them away." - Kayden
I was feeding the baby and apparently taking too long....

"We don't squeeze kitties." - Layne
When talking about going to grandma's house, apparently he's squeezed a kitty or two!

"God damnit mom, turn around and go to the kitchen!" - Kayden
No this behavior is not condoned, but I couldn't help but laugh! The language is grandpa's fault and he wanted me to leave because he was being naughty and didn't want to get in trouble!

Kayden goes and pulls his underwear down to go potty and a Mr. Potato Head hat falls out of his underwear.....
It was a nutcup. Also, now that the boys are in underwear, if they don't want the other one to get something, it goes in their "pocket".......

Now these are just a few of the moments that The Middles have given me, with plenty of more down the road I'm sure! What type of crazy things have your kids said lately???

Be sure to check out my Instagram tomorrow night at 8pm for special opprotunity! 

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