Sunday, October 11, 2015

Yeah, I'm Late....Eff off!

I was born and raised in the world of, 15 minutes early was on time and on time was late! Nowadays.....on time is on time and 5 minutes late is still on time! I never understood parents being late until #3 and #4 came around. We were always on time with just 2 kids, but adding more into the equation, just increases the difficulty of the logistics! Here are some of the reasons why I'm late, sorry I'm not sorry.

Clothing
Have you ever tried dressing 4 children, making sure they have clean diapers/underwear, and finding matching shoes? It's a pain in the ass, especially because Kayden and Layne have opinions on what they want to wear. I'm sure Layne rotates through the same 5 superhero/Mickey Mouse shirts, because a complete melt down occurs if he doesn't get to wear one, and it isn't a battle worth having! Add to the fact they are OBSESSED with doing their hair...... Have boys they said. It'll be easier they said. They don't care what they wear or how their hair looks they said..... LIARS!
Mickey Mouse is Layne's undershirt.....because heaven forbid we go without!
Shit
I mean this in the most literal sense of the word. We have to leave for pre-school no later than 8am on Tuesdays and Thursdays, it never fails that Kayden has to poop at 7:59am....and we're late! Or everyone but the baby is loaded, and I go to put him in his carseat and he's had a blowout. I wish I could say this has only happened once......and yes, I took a picture to show Kayden's teacher I wasn't making it up!


The List
There is a certain list of items that we can't leave the house with. Waters for everyone, snacks, extra clothes, jackets, cell phone, phone charger, diapers, wipes and pacifiers....it takes me about 5 trips in and out of the house getting everything, because I keep forgetting something!

Carseats
I hate them. Straps get twisted, kids grow which require adjustments, accidents happen in them.....they just frustrate me. Add to the fact that no one willingly gets in and straps themselves in, loading the crew up never goes as planned!

Jayce
Yes, he gets an entire category! He HATES riding in the car, like screams the entire time! I've found the only time we get a quiet ride is if I feed him in the car and immediately put him into his carseat. No, I can't feed him in the house and then go to the car, trust me....I've tried! So I need everyone loaded and in the car about 15 minutes before we leave, just so I can feed him. Remember the poop situation from above.....yeah, still late!
At least he's cute!

To mothers of 1 or 2 that are still late to things. It's ok! I was a bit crazy/OCD with just 2 and refused to be "those" parents that are always late. Now, I don't give a shit. If we're late, we're  late. So don't stress! Helpful hint! I like to think that if I add "ish" to a time, it buys me an extra 15 minutes or so!

And to those of you that are expecting a family to arrive to something on time. Tell them the time is 30 minutes earlier then it actually is, because hopefully they will show up before it's over!

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