Saturday, April 4, 2015

Life Lessons Learned At Wal-Mart From A Raging Republican

The title says it all. I went to Wal-Mart on purpose for the first time in years, literally, and my blood runs red, Republican Red. Hate it, well stop reading now then, because my political views MIGHT bleed through into this.

Let me paint you a picture of my walk in. I parked my car in the second from last parking stall, away from everyone, in hopes to avoid being jumped and/or door dinged. The world is full of possibilities! Anyways, I notice as I'm walking in that the parking lot is very dirty, littered with empty cigarette packages and the mini liquor bottles all the way up to the front door. I'm sure you are thinking, yeah, whatever, you are exaggerating. Oh I wish I was! And this place was PACKED! It could be that it is a holiday weekend, or that it is the first of the month. No, I'm not assuming that most people's government assistance just got deposited, I'm just saying that they are shopping for this months supplies and carting out three carts at a time. Geez people!

Once I made it in, I became an immediate people watcher and student. After all, I was learning some of life's most important lessons!

The restrooms are romantic.
I rushed into the bathroom as soon as I got there about to pee my pants. I went through 4 stalls till I found one with toilet paper! Then as I'm relieving my exhausted pregnant lady bladder, I hear a male and female voice walk in and go into one of the stalls without toilet paper. What they were doing there, I don't know. Drug deal? Maybe. Whispering sweet nothings to each other? Possible. All I know is that they were still in there when I left....and they were very quiet.

Holiday aisles make people crazy!
I was there to pick up some Easter stuff for the boys, so of course, I was in the seasonal aisle. You would have thought that it was Black Friday up in there! People were pushing each other, reaching over other people's carts to grab a certain bag of candy, and grabbing stuff out of other people's carts. It was nuts!

Carts are the go-to babysitter. 
I wish I would have known this earlier! Instead of disciplining my children and making them listen while out and about, I should just give them a shopping cart and let them run wild while I wonder around. They could race up and down the aisles, play bumper carts, or even run into random shoppers!

Highlights on an EBT budget.
Let me break this down for you. There is a salon apparently in Wal-Mart, and I'm sure the beauticians are licensed....I just wouldn't go there. Anyways, the lady checking out in front of me had to run her (and two of her friends') pops separate from the rest of her items so that she could use her EBT card. Now before you come at me with the pitchforks, I support helping people with food and such that really need it. I've seen a lot of single, hard working moms benefit from the program and eventually get off of it. It's the lifers that have been on it forever, have their nails done, new Coach bags and ...........are asking the Wal-Mart hair lady about highlights, that drive me bonkers! Hey lady, MAYBE you are getting too much assistance if you are able to afford all these luxuries! Or I guess I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, she must really know how to budget things out!

If someone can't hear you, yell louder.
Yelling isn't my favorite thing to do, but I guess it's pretty popular! When I finally made it through the 30 minute line and out the door there was a woman in the handicap parking stall with 4 kids that were calling her mom but looked nothing alike. Either they were adopted (which would be awesome) or they have very diverse DNA..... The woman was on the phone SCREAMING, I still could hear her and make out some of the things she was saying while unloading my cart nearly half a block away. I guess someone forgot about picking a kid up for their weekend....

After reading this you probably think I'm a horrible, judgmental person. Well, that's your perspective. I was nice to everyone, so that counts for something, right?! I'm not saying I will never go back to Wal-Mart. I'm just saying until a gun is to my head making me, I will go to 5 different stores to get all of the same things that I got there!

Some of the Easter loot I got!

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