Monday, March 2, 2015

Answers To The Inevitable, "What Do You Need?"

Listen, hindsight is 20/20!

I was asked from family and friends when I was pregnant with Layne what else I needed in order to feel ready for him and then again once he got here. The naive person I was at the time told everyone, "Oh we don't need anything, we are great!" Shoot, the week we got home, post c-section, I thought it was a good idea to cook and clean and not just lay on the couch and snuggle the baby. I was an idiot! As someone who doesn't find any joy in admitting when I am wrong, I was wrong in this situation.

The pregnant and postpartum woman does not think straight. You think you can conquer everything without ever questioning it. After all, your body created life....that's pretty amazing. But let's be real, when someone asks what they can do for you or what you need, "nothing," shouldn't be your answer, even though you say it anyways!

Here is are five things that I wish I had said, but never did. This also work as a great, not a registry item, type of gift for a mom-to-be! Friends and family of anyone that is expecting, please take note, bonus points are given to those that just do and don't ask!

1. A Frozen Meal..... or 2!

I'm a prepper, yes. I had a handful of meals in the freezer ready to pull out once the Layne got here, BUT I actually ended up using them in the last few weeks of my pregnancy. I was too tired to do anything!

So, feel free to drop a meal off to the new mom's house to help her out! Be sure to ask about what not to include! If she's nursing she may be avoiding dairy and other ingredients. Things that work great: pasta, casseroles, deli meat tray for sandwiches, soups, veggie trays, or anything that can be easily thrown together and/or heated easily.

A plus is that you will be guaranteed some fresh baby snuggles AND if you do it for her, she is likely to do it for you when you have a new squish!

2. A Clean House

Now my OCD was in full swing at the end of my pregnancy. I vividly remember mopping the floors at 11pm one night and 4:30am on several mornings when I couldn't sleep. With that being said, when I got home from the hospital and had a newborn attached to my bruised nipple for 23 hours a day, I noticed everything that wasn't clean. The ceiling fans, the blinds, and places that I had refused to bend down to clean for fear of never getting back up.

An amazing gift to a new mom is for someone (professional or not) to clean her house in the small window she is in the hospital. There's just something about bringing a new babe into a fresh smelling house! Or if you stop by to visit the baby and notice that the trash needs taken out or there are toys that just need picked up, feel free to do it. She will say, "Oh you don't need to do that. I'll get it later," but ignore her and she will appreciate it. Once again. you will get baby snuggles and the favor returned!

What my kiddos create while I use the restroom. I can only imagine when Jayce gets here!
3. A Break

This is something I didn't do and wish I had. I went from 32 hours of labor with no sleep to a newborn sleeping on my chest and eating every hour and a half. To say I was sleep deprived was an understatement! Our pediatrician and nurse (who I still adore to this day!) told me when Layne was 10 days old and I couldn't stop crying that I just needed to sleep for 4 hours straight and I would feel like a new person! I got 3 hours at one point, and that helped!

So if you notice that the new mom looks like hell, and she will, offer to come over and hold the baby while she locks herself in her room and sleeps. This will mean the world to her, because no new mom ever wants to admit that she needs help, so being offered it without asking is amazing! Again, the upside is extended, don't have to share, all yours for a couple hours baby snuggles!

4. A Massage

Well let's play both sides of this. Pre-delivery a woman is carrying a human inside her that gives no fucks about what they kick, punch or squeeze. That human also changes the was she moves, creating lots of sore muscles. Post-delivery, well she just delivered a human for her body, enough said!

Husbands/boyfriends/sperm donors this is where you can give, give and give some more! Rub her down whenever she looks like she might need it or even sitting on the couch with her cankles on your lap! She will love you even more for this!

To the people that didn't put the baby in her belly, a gift certificate for a massage makes a great shower gift or hospital present!

5. A Car Detail

This sounds absurd to some I'm sure, but who wants to bring home their fresh baby in a dirty ass car! When Layne came home our car was brand new, so that was nice. This time around, our van looks like something found on the side of the road in The Walking Dead. Shoot, there might be something dead in there!

This could be done while she is in the hospital or in the weeks leading up to delivery. This is a great father-to-be project or grandparents-to-be gift to the couple! Find some place that will do the outside, clean the floor mats, spot clean the hot chocolate stain on the interior ceiling, and make everything else shiny and new! Again, she will more than appreciate it!

Now feel free to use this as a hint to your family (cough, cough.....dear husband of mine...cough cough) or if you are looking for an unexpected gift for someone!

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