Wednesday, February 18, 2015

"It's Your Penis"- And Other 2 Year Old Moments

If we are all being honest, 2 year old kiddos are the funniest/orneriest/meanest/sweetest/most honest human beings in the world all at the same time! So in honor of my 2 year old, let's recap approximately the last week......with many pictures that will haunt him for years to come!

1. Riding dump trucks requires being naked and wearing Mr. Potato Head glasses.

This went on for an entire day. Thank goodness no one came to visit us!
*For the record, he owns clothes, we were just doing some "naked potty training."

 2. Hats are always required.

He insists on wearing a hat for 90% of the day, and then will insist that I wear his alternate. Today we wore cowboy hats, yesterday was stocking caps. We can only imagine what tomorrow will hold, possibly buckets....

3. You get away with nothing.

As I walk out of the bathroom, "You poop mommy?".........even if I didn't and was just sitting in there hiding from the chaos, he assumes I was doing #2.

4. Frozen fixes fights.

Separate ends of the couch and Frozen on the TV, because if one more rear naked choke was placed, mom was about to lose her shit.

 5. Anatomy is a struggle.

Found Barbies while cleaning out the closest from when we had some foster girls staying with us. So while playing with them, the following conversation took place.

Barbie pants off
Kayden- "Where's the penis?"
Me- "She's a girl, she has a vagina."

Barbie's shirt pulled up
Kayden- "Where's the baby?"
Me- "She doesn't have a baby in her belly."

Barbie's shirt taken off.
Kayden- (while pointing) "Boobies."
Me- "Yep, those are boobies."

6. Likes to make sure that everyone keeps their parts. 

The hubs strips down to his underwear minutes after getting home from work. The conversation usually goes like this:

Kayden- "It's your penis daddy." (while pointing and trying to see it)
Hubs- "Yep it's still there, don't touch."

Every diaper change he has to be sure that his brothers still have their's too!

7. Learning to dress is hard.

Yep, that's a pajama shirt under his t-shirt. He's pissed he can't get his pants up, but I won't help him because he has no diaper or underwear on. It's a rough life he's living! (another potty training day)

8. Potty training is tricky.

Yes, that is poop on my floor. He didn't quite make it in time. And for the record, I hate potty training. I don't get paid enough for it!

9. Size never matters.

He is very proud of his "new" chair. I cleaned the closet out and got the Bumbo out to put it in the nursery. After getting situated he then tells me, "I hurt mama!" No, he wasn't really hurt, just stuck. No matter the size of something, he always thinks he can fit.

10. Cleanliness is unnecessary. 

For the last week, getting clothes on him is constantly a battle. The only clothes he wants to wear are either Layne's dirty clothes from his hamper or his own dirty clothes. Oh, and he knows if something I put in the dirty hamper is actually clean! He apparently prefers the crusted on boogers and food!

I hope you got a giggle out of my last week or so! Although he's funny and I love him dearly, I'm beyond excited he's visiting Grandma for the weekend!

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