Thursday, February 5, 2015

I Just Peed A Little

It's true, pregnancy (especially this second one) causes phrases I never thought I would say to slip out of my mouth and has resulted in me to do things that in hindsight were bad decisions.

Sneeze. "I just peed a little."
Sneeze. "Shit, again."
Sneeze. Sneeze. Sneeze. "Fuck this, I got to go change." .....read on for further explanation

Here are a few things that one might want to reconsider doing if pregnant or if you know someone, keep them far away from these terrible things!

1. Pinterest-ing 
As much as I LOVE Pinterest, it is a very poor decision to even browse just a little on this clever site! My nesting brain wants to pin everything in sight which may include a full basement remodel, closet remodel, new bins with labels for EVERYTHING and finally a nursery with every cool little thing I found in it that my husband thinks is absurd!

2. Amazon Shopping
I'm a very proud Amazon Prime member and living in the Midwest, if I can't order it on Amazon Prime, I don't need it that bad, especially when it's cold out. Did you know Amazon does baby registries? Oh yeah, they have EVERY little baby item imaginable on there and ironically it is all Prime. Free shipping means that it's practically free, right?

3. Etsy Browsing 
Handmade, small businesses, online and ships to my door....ALL things I love and support! And damn those crafty people with great photography skills! Why yes I do need the crocheted outfit for newborn pictures, and the set of big brother t-shirts, ooooh and the bag to match, oh and the wall decals with the matching mobile.... See the problem with going here? If you have money to burn, then have at it! I'm just a terrible window shopper!

4. Sick Baby Snuggling
Your gut says to snuggle and kiss away, the reality is, sick babies/toddlers/kids are just disease spreading cesspools. I've learned this yet again this week, and the third time this pregnancy. Being pregnant over the winter is for the birds! With Layne being the last one to get the runny nose and cough, I've come down with it as well! Now I can justify snuggling them since I'm sick also. but I should have kept my distance earlier!

Sick kiddos watching Frozen and insisting on snuggling baby brother!

5. Toddler Bed-Making
Our 2 year old has a set of bunk beds in his room and insists on sleeping on the top bunk. Well I'm one of those people that has to wash sheets every week to every other week otherwise I get grossed out (remember I do live in a house of all males!) A pregnant woman isn't meant to scale the side of a bunk bed and make the top bunk. Not only does it put me out of breath, the creaking noise of the bed is a bit unsettling!

While the sheets washed during nap, he chose the bean bag over the bottom bunk. He isn't stubborn or anything!


6. Hungry Grocery Shopping
It's never a good idea to go grocery shopping when you are hungry, pregnant or not, but it's a REALLY bad idea to go when you are growing another human inside you! My grocery bill is at least $20 more and it looks like I had a small child throwing random items into the cart, even if I'm by myself. The other day I came home with cinnamon rolls, rice, garlic bread, Golden Grahams and chocolate syrup.....none of which were on my list that I pride myself on sticking to! Some of the things I don't even remember ever putting in the cart! I've never taken Ambien, but I feel like it was an Ambien experience from what I've heard of them!

7. I Can Hold It
I still try to tell myself this when we are out and about. I can wait to pee till the next stop, it isn't that bad. But then I forget what happens if I cough, sneeze, move the wrong way, bend over, or the sweet baby boy decides to get a big bounce off my bladder, I end up needing to either invest in Depends or carry multiple pairs of underwear with me! Please people, treat pregnant women like 2 year olds, "Should you just try to go?" Chances are, they need to go!

8. Hashtag Searching
I'm not a HUGE hashtagger (what was previously known as the pound sign or number symbol) but I will occasionally use them! I probably hashtagged this blog post! But when I put up my weekly Bumpdates and I just happen to click on the hashtag for #23weekspregnant and I see this chick that is standing on her head doing #prenatalyoga with #fitpregnancy.....I want to be over here all #icecreambaby #prenatalScandalwatching,.....just saying. Not that I hate the super fit moms that will walk out of the hospital in their pre-pregnancy booty shorts, I'm just a bit jealous and compare myself to them constantly, okay there, I said it!

Have anything else that one should reconsider doing while expecting? Please feel free to share!

AND our raffle winner from last week is Beck Bierbrodt!

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