Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Say It..... I Dare You

Now I am the queen of "insert foot into mouth" moments, so I get it that people are dumbasses on accident. BUT I think when it comes to talking to pregnant women......a pause and the use of a filter should be utilized.

I'll keep this short. Think before you speak, and if you need an idea of things NOT to you go!

"You are a lot bigger this time around!"(while rubbing my stomach without permission).....jerk!

"Mama an elephant." I get it, he's little and right now everything is an elephant.....but the comparison isn't necessary.

Me- "Aww I can't wait till I get to do this again!" - showing a picture of Layne when he was super little and snuggled on my chest.
Response- "You mean when you are pretty again."

"How are you hungry again?!" You create life and then we can discuss my appetite.

"What are you wearing? Is it maternity?" Are you saying that it is too small or are you wanting to get one too? I feel like you are leaning towards the first your mouth.

"You don't need to get much bigger, it looks about done." Well, newsflash, it's going to get bigger as much as I might not be thrilled about it. Feel free to get bent!

"When are you due again?" (with a bitchy tone) ..........STOP ASKING! It hasn't changed in the 2 weeks since I've seen you last. If you don't remember, it obviously doesn't matter.

"I have extremely elastic skin, so I didn't get stretch marks. It must suck." Well I have no new ones yet, but the chances of them coming around are pretty high. So I don't care about you or your elastic skin.

"Oh I don't like that name." (in reference to the possible baby name I shared with them) Since when do I care if you like it or not, I don't remember you being there when he was conceived and earned naming rights.

NOTE: At no time should anyone refer to the swollen stomach of a woman to any food item and/or's just not cool!

So you know someone expecting and you want to know what to say to them that won't make them pissed or run out crying, just stick to a few words. "Beautiful" "Glowing" "Sexy" "Amazing" As long as you don't put them into the combination of, "You aren't really glowing and it's amazing that you have lost all of the beautiful sexiness that you once had!" You should be fine!

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This is Layne's "be nice to all baby growers" face!

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