Monday, October 20, 2014

Call It Babysitting........I Dare You

Over the weekend I happened to have been having a conversation with a friend when he referred to watching his daughter, his own flesh and blood, as babysitting. Are you fucking serious? Babysitting? Are you getting paid? Are you unrelated to the child? Are you going to someone else's house to watch the child? Are you only seeing the child for the 4-5 hours that you are "babysitting"? No, no you aren't. SO......let's not call it babysitting.

When men say this it gets under my skin SO much, and even more now that I'm home with the kids all day, every day....notice I didn't it call it babysitting. I've never heard a woman call it that. Maybe it's the whole maternal connection to our kids? Maybe we aren't insensitive dickheads? Whatever the case may be, men, get your shit together.

Here are a few options that you can use in when your buddies want you to go out for a few beers, but you've already agreed to let your wife go grocery shop by herself for the evening.

-I'm hanging out with the kid that I helped bring into this world.
-I feel like I don't see (insert child's name) enough, so we are going to hang out. 
-There is a tea party that I'm late to, sorry. 
-We are having a movie and milk party already. 
-Remember when I said that (wife's name) was going to have a baby, well that baby was born. I'm the father now, and I'm doing my responsibility of parenting that baby. 

Now here are a few options that, if your wife ever heard you say, I would hope would result in you sleeping on the couch......for a VERY long time. And if I ever heard you say wouldn't be pretty.

-I'm babysitting MY kids.
-The old lady ditched me for the grocery store, now I'm stuck here being bored with the baby.
-Can I bring the baby to the bar?
-Let me call the wife and tell her I'm going to drop the baby off at the grocery store with her and then I can swing by. 

Now men, watching your kids can reap some pretty big rewards for you. Yes, it is quality daddy/child time. Yes, you get to know your child better and bond with them. But also, if you give your wife a break, and she is able to go do some "mommy time" that isn't grocery shopping or running errands, chances of you getting lucky are fairly high. Moms need a chance to recharge, because it is EXHAUSTING. And we have no desire to "hide the salami" when we've been wiping ass all day and have a never ending of list of shit to do running through our head. If you even want to sweeten the deal, after the kids go to bed, instead of sitting on your ass watching TV....... clean the house. Just a thought! There might be more rewards in store for you!

Some of my girls and I having some much deserved mommy time!

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