Thursday, September 25, 2014

I Run a Zoo NOT a House!

I tend to make zoo references when referring to my children, or husband, or house in general. Doing so has at times resulted in appalled looks. Oh please people, get over it! Here are some comparisons of my house to a zoo!

1. Species look at each other in shock over their morning wake up calls.

  • Similar to roosters cock-a-doodle-dooing in the morning, our oldest gorilla screams the ENTIRE time he eats breakfast, and our baby goat stares in disbelief.

2. Only zookeepers are allowed to feed the animals. 

  • If you didn't breed it, please don't feed it. Our beasts eat certain things and aren't allowed some types of food. Don't try sneaking it through either, the animal will rat you out. 
3. Beware of the monkey, he is tricky!
  • In the picture below, the 2 year old monkey, during nap time, created steps to get to the drawer of his bookshelf. The crayons were put up high on a shelf so that the said monkey wouldn't color his furniture when left alone. While standing IN the drawer and getting the crayons the drawer broke, sending him through the bottom and onto the floor. Needless to say, his enclosure has some broken furniture now. 
        *Please note that the Grandma the Silver Back was in charge of the monkey at the              time of this occurrence. 

4. Anger the gorilla and he'll spread his shit everywhere!
  • Yep! Every. Fucking. Day.
5. The animals are stuck in a routine with their feeding schedules. 
  • The zookeeper will be feeding this exhibit at 7am, 9:30am, 12pm, 3pm and 5:30pm. Feel free to stop by for the show!
6. Similar to the Butterfly House, please make sure that you have no creatures attached to you when departing.
  • They like to sneak out the door, so beware!
7. When visiting the "petting zoo" please be sure to wash your hands or sanitize when you leave. 
  • We aren't concerned with you bringing germs to us as much as our germs leaving with you!
8. The wild creatures usually have no clothes on. 
  • We try to let them stay in their natural "coverings" or lack there of as much as possible.

Oh how I love our zoo, even on the days when I feel like they are going to take it over!

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