Wednesday, September 17, 2014

I Hate "All Natural" Parenting

I'm very vocal about my opinions with everything. I know you are thinking, "No, not Nicole. She's so quiet and timid." So here it is, I hate "all natural" parents/parenting. I've been asked multiple time before why I do, and then again today. So here is my reasoning.

1. Breastfeeding
Breast is best, blah, blah, blah, blah! I tried and failed miserably at breastfeeding. My little fat guy needed more then my ladies were willing to produce. It was so stressful and then to have people say to me, "If you tried harder you could succeed at it," or "You won't be able to bond with your baby." Are you fucking kidding me?! I tried, it was terrible. I hated feeding my baby, because I would cry the entire time only to have to supplement with a bottle after 40 excruciating minutes. The "all natural" crew, who will have their kid on their tit till they are like 12 years old, are the ones that make shitty statements like that to those of us that would have loved to have been successful at it but weren't. 

2. Home Remedies
An pinch of this herb, and dollop of this all-natural organic salve and wear this necklace made of god only knows what and your baby will be cured of every ailment. Give me a fucking break. I'm all about trying different things to make kids feel better, because sick kids are the worse, but if I want to give my teething child some ibuprofen and Benadryl, I will. Please for the love of all things holy don't look at me like I'm putting poison into my kid's body. You stick to your hippy-dippy shit and I'll stick to my western medicine, and the stuff my licensed pediatrician recommends.

3. Sleeping
 Co-sleeping with your baby I think is insane. The worrier in me thinks of SIDs, the other part of me thinks, "How the hell are you supposed to have any good sex?!" Whatever though, sleep with your kids if that's what you are into, but don't judge me that my baby is crying it out in his crib.

4. All-Natural Organic EVERYTHING
How is there organic clothing? I don't even get it. There honestly is all-natural organic everything! I get it that you are trying to put less "harmful" items in your body and you child's body, BUT I've witnessed people go into debt at the grocery store so everything is organic. That shit is expensive! I'll feed my kids healthy food that isn't organic, and feel free to give me lots of stares when I let them eat real animal crackers. 

5. Babywearing
Yes, I babywear. It is SO much easier to have a baby and a toddler when you have 2 free hands and can save your toddler from trying to kill himself by some Houdini act. NO I will not wear my child till they are 5 so that we can bond more. Who really wants a 5 year old on their back when they are perfectly capable of walking on their own AND following directions?

I guess this all just boils down to the fact that I have had some shitty experiences with other moms/dads/strangers that fall into this "all-natural" category. I hate when others make me feel like my choices for my child are wrong.  So now I'm just jaded towards the whole group. I do have friends that fall into the "all-natural" category and I know I give them more shit then I probably should. I do love them and I'm sure their children will grow up to be smarter, healthier, wealthier, and better bonded than mine!

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